Out of the Darkness

I couldn’t sleep. Bed before 11 p.m. is a new experience and my body apparently didn’t like it. Or maybe just didn’t know how to react. So I was awake, tossing and turning in an attempt to return to peaceful slumber, at 3 a.m. or so. Around 4 I decided to make use of the time.

Too dark, too boring on the track for pix.

I lumbered out of bed, donned some do-fer jammies (an LL Bean “River Driver’s Shirt” and plaid flannel sleep pants) and busied myself clearing out some stuff in my closet. Then I sorted some mail that’s been ignored for a couple of days. Finally it was time for the track. I know I need to hit the streets again soon, if for no other reason than I need to scavenge something to write about. After all, that’s half the purpose of this exercise.

The track was dark in the predawn, the air warmer than I expected. What dim streetlight blended with moon that seeped in the windows was enough for running on a track with set bounds. I checked my playlist to have an idea when I’d complete 3 miles (based on my usual pace) and set off. It seemed to sync pretty well. I have new information from an old-timer who told me the other day that it takes 34 laps of the track here to equal 1 mile. I suppose that’s about right, again, based on my pace. I think I kept pretty good count of my laps, maybe dropping a couple (not in my favor, shorting myself in the count). And I walked three or four cool-down laps anyway.

I think a contributing factor to my sleeplessness was a fretful mind over financial matters. How am I going to make everything work? But worry isn’t helpful, so I tried to put those thoughts out of my head and think of how I will make it all work. And then other numbers began to clog my mind. Numbers of laps run. Really that’s kind of a pain in the ass. It’s so easy to slip up and drop a lap or skip one ahead. I always err against me in the count if I question the number.

What I came to realize this morning was that a positive attitude is totally up to you (me). One can fret and fear and dither over the unknown or one can marshal positive thoughts, work toward solutions and be determined and focused on positive outcomes. If that sounds like motivational bullshit, so be it. This is a new year and time for a new beginning. It’s only the second day of 2012, the first day of fulfilling my resolution. But like a smoker who snuffs that last stick and 24 hours later is still smoke-free, I mark this as a success.

Footnote: The KGHS Mix playlist is a compilation of songs I particularly liked during high school. I shared the mix with a couple of friends a few years ago and they liked it, too.

Today's Stats

Temp: 21 degrees F (Much warmer indoors, though)

Distance: 3 miles

Treasure: Peace of mind.

iPod Playlist (KGHS Mix – partial )

Roll With the Changes - REO Speedwagon

Hold On Loosely - .38 Special

In The Dark - Billy Squier

Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions

Rock of Ages - Def Leppard

In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins

Wrapped Around YourFinger - The Police