Tales From the Drunken Serpent

Contrary to popular theory, not everybody likes surprises. Sure, there are those folks who enjoy the thrill of sudden discovery ... I have sort of become one of them. But I used to sneak a peek at my Christmas gifts and relished the foretaste of what was yet to come. 

The drunken serpent pokes his head out of the can for a look around.

 The long flat box was obviously a rifle (my first .22). The large, flat, rectangular package clearly contained the requested model train set. But when I couldn't immediately identify the contents of the cube wrapped in festive paper from my distant grandparents, I decided to partake in a little skullduggery. A deft hand with the scissors and clever re-taping allowed me to explore its contents before Dec. 25. Inside was a full kit of Boy Scout gear: canteen, flashlight (the cool L-shaped kind for signaling), mess kit. Too cool.

Eventually, though, I outgrew that and now have to fight off my sister's efforts to trade information before the holidays (my parents are terrible about surprises and keeping secrets; they enjoy too much telling us kids what they're getting the other or what they've found for the grandkids). 

But some surprises are just not enjoyable in any circumstance. As a tourist in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, back in 1988, I fell for a trick in a shop full of western art. A little envelope marked “Rattlesnake Eggs” begged to be opened. The resulting buzz from a paperclip attached to a wound rubber band, achieved the desired effect as I jumped and dropped it on the counter, “surprised” by the snake-like buzz.

In a similar vein I was caught off guard when near the end of Wednesday’s run I picked up two cans near the railroad tracks along Pearl Street and discovered one was not empty. The weight of the can was the tip-off. Peeking through the mouth of the can before I set it down to crush it under foot, I noticed something odd and not immediately identifiable. Eewww, I thought, somebody’s stuffed something gross in there.

What I was looking at was the belly of a garter snake. I assumed it was dead. So I tried to shake it loose to empty the can in preparation for crushing to add to my collection for cash. When my efforts did not dislodge the tiny serpent, I realized it was alive! I dropped the can. The snake poked his head out of the mouth. As I knelt to snap a photo with my phone, s/he ducked back inside. We played this game for a few rounds before I finally was able to catch a pic of the snake head poking out from the can. Too bad for him the whole fiasco cost him a dinner – the cricket that had been in there with him was not yet dead and managed to spring to freedom.

The Fabulous T-Bird! Ha, just kidding. I found the golf tee
about 100 yards away and the dead bird was so perfectly
preserved it just begged for the combination.

I left the can behind, snake ensconced in his lair to lure another unsuspecting insect to its doom. Maybe I’ll return today and see if he’s still skulking there. Anyway, it was not an immediately enjoyable surprise, but in hindsight it was pretty cool.

Today's Stats

Temp: 69 degrees F

Distance: 6.4 miles

Weekly Total: 9.9 miles

Treasure: 1 curtain tie; 1 tall golf tee (white); 1 garter snake (live, hiding in a can!); 14 cans.

iPod Playlist (shuffle)

Broken - Lifehouse

A curtain tie-back. No real use to me, but I imagined its
repurposing: cut up to make flouncy cuffs for a jacket,
shirt or jeans. Totally girly, but I think I'll hold onto it
until Daughter No. 3 starts her home ec class.

Don't Panic - Coldplay

I Don't Wanna - The Call

Life Uncommon - Jewel

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

The Red Strokes - Garth Brooks

Turpentine - JJ Grey & Mofro

Lonesome Day - Bruce Springsteen

The Ballad of Billly the Kid - Billy Joel

Warrior (live) - Matisyahu

Careless Whisper - Wham!

One Room Country Shack - Buddy Guy

Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer

The Crazy Cries of Love - Joni Mitchell

Catch My Disease - Ben Lee