Lost & Found or Hide and Seek?

Ah, elusive love, where are you hiding? 

My most recent Match profile photo.

All right, before you say to yourself, “just stop looking and it’ll find you,” I’ve heard that a million times (OK, only about 863,000 times – but counting) and I’ll address that in a bit.

Have I been lookin’ for love in all the wrong places? Lookin’ for love in too many faces? I’ve tried the bars, the produce aisle, church, the video store, the hospital. Maybe not literally, but I’m constantly on the lookout. My buddy Jay is frankly amazed at my “ringdar” – that hypersensitive perception trained on a woman’s left ring finger. (Just part of the screening process.)

I’m even looking when I run the streets of Galesburg. Once I saw a cute runner and I altered my route in hopes of seeing her again a block over. And when I spot a particularly attractive driver passing me by, I’ll admit to you now I’ve had on occasion this lame fantasy that she’ll be saw drawn to me that she pulls over and makes an excuse to talk.

To date that has not happened.

I've always dreamed of finding something amazing when I run. Maybe an iPod in good condition. Something so cool, people would be in awe when I tell them about it.
I've cataloged all the stuff I've picked up the past two years: wrenches, clothes, CDs, DVDs, gloves, balls, plush toys, beer. It's all fun and some of it has been useful — I wear two pairs of shorts I found and a T-shirt or two. I salvaged a mattress set in excellent condition during big-item trash week. Nobody thinks that's cool. It gives them pause: "What is wrong with this guy? That's kinda gross."
That's fine. I've enjoyed it. But you know what I'd really like to find one of these days while running? A girlfriend. And no, I’m not talking about a blow-up doll in the gutter (though that’d surely make an interesting blog). Rather, somebody to run along with me, not away from me.

Funny. I get the top message that someone made me her
"favorite" on Match. I clicked and the link took me to
my Match account where I found the truth.

Maybe I’ll meet Miss Right at a race someday. Of course that would require one of us to pluck up the courage to start a conversation. I can barely do that on Match.com – another place I’ve been looking for love. Ironically, I just canceled my Match subscription tonight, Feb. 13, the eve of Valentine’s Day. It seems pointless to shell out any more money on fruitless pursuit.

I once told a Match date I was looking for sparks. That instant connection. It's rare, even in the gushiest of romantic comedies. In real life, I've never heard of it. And the absence of that magical instant spark isn’t foreboding. It’s just my ideal dream.
I've seen the movie "Once" more than twice and I still hate the ending. It’s a non-traditional love story. I prefer movies like “Jerry Maguire” and “An Officer and a Gentleman.” Or “Definitely, Maybe.” Or “Runaway Bride,” or a hundred others. I’m a sap for a sappy rom-com. So sue me.

Facebook is full of pithy phrases and cautionary catchphrases about love and independence and being comfortable with yourself. It’s apparently some sort of weakness to need someone. First be complete in and of yourself without a mate. Fine. That’s all great. Hey, I am complete. But cannot two people still complete each other in the sense that the sum is greater than the two parts?

Anyway, maybe it’s not a matter of looking in all the wrong places. Maybe it’s just that I’ve been looking at all. Maybe those folks who tell me to stop looking and it’ll just happen are right. There are movies like that, too. So I think that’s where I am. Match works. For some. I’ve met some wonderful women there and I’ve made some good friends. But I’m tired of looking. I’m tired of trying. Trying too hard.

Take note, you won’t hear this from me often: You all are right. I try too hard. I’m done. Consider it a Valentine’s Day Resolution. Love, you’re gonna have to find me. I’m tired of hide and seek. I’m standing in the open and it’s up to you now.

I played a couple of love song mixes during today’s run because it seemed appropriate for the topic of the blog, which has been brewing for a couple of weeks. One of the songs was Bruce Springsteen’s “I’ll Work for Your Love.” I’ve felt that way. I’m an eager romantic. But I’m reminded of this exchange from “Jerry Maguire” between Jerry (Tom Cruise) and Dorothy (Renee Zellweger).

Jerry: “You know that thing you say, ‘it was nobody’s fault’? It’s one of the great lies. It’s always somebody’s fault. Somebody is always to blame. Go for it, go for it like you do a job. Work at it.”

Dorothy: “But maybe love shouldn’t be such hard work.”

I think she has a point. OK, a relationship, whether a steady date or a marriage, takes work. There’s a lot of maintenance there. Cooperation and understanding and all that. But the love part – from falling in to being in to full out love – shouldn’t be work. There should be some sense of naturalness to it. If it’s right, it should just be.

That’s what I’ve been looking for. Now I’m gonna let it look for me for a while. I’m right here in the open.

Today's Stats

Temp: 38 degrees F

Distance: 5 miles

Weekly Total: 8.38 miles

Treasure: 1 Nokia cellphone car charger; 1 dime; 1 LG flip phone (missing back and battery, I left it behind).

iPod Playlist (Love Songs from two mixes):

Love Me Do – The Beatles

That Thing You Do! – The Wonders

I’ll Work for Your Love – Bruce Springsteen

Everytime You Go Away – Paul Young

Time and Time Again – Counting Crows

I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever) – Stevie Wonder

Missing You – John Waite

Crazy for You – Madonna

Just Stay Here Tonight – Augustana

Falling In – Lifehouse

Say – John Mayer

Ships in the Night – Mat Kearney

Payphone – Maroon 5 (feat. Wiz Khalifa)

A Thousand Years – Christina Perri

Monday's Stats

Temp: 32 degrees F

Distance: 3.38 miles

Weekly Total: 3.38 miles

iPod Playlist (KGHS mix):

Roll With the Changes – REO Speedwagon

Hold On Loosely - .38 Special

In the Dark – Billy Squier

Rock You Like a Hurricane

Rock of Ages – Def Leppard

In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins

Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police

Caught Up In You - .38 Special