Lost & Found: “Mon crayon est grand et mon crayon est jaune.”

That’s write. My pencil is big and yellow. Funny, but that line from one of my favorite movies of the 1980s, “Gotcha!,” is what immediately popped into my head when I spotted the splintered No. 2 lying the grass as I ran past on Kellogg Street. I doubled back for a photo just so I could lead off with it. I would have kept the pencil, too, had it not been busted.

It really stinks, though, when your springboard loses its spring before you’ve leapt anywhere. I mean, I don’t really have a lot to go on from here. But, at least I got in the bit of innuendo I promised a friend. You see, “Gotcha” is all about the pursuit of sex. Our hero, Jonathan (Anthony Edwards) is off to Europe on spring break with his handsome homey Manolo (Jsu Garcia). They start with Paris, in hopes of the lovelorn Jonathan losing his virginity.

Jonathan does just that. He also become ensnared in a little espionage. It’s rollicking Cold War fun. The film has a decent soundtrack, fun plot, sexy Sasha (Linda Fiorentino) and … well, what more do you need?

The clever wordplay with which I began is the extent of Jonathan’s French. It’s about all I have to show for a term of college French, too. And to be honest, I remember it from the film, not from class. French was not my forte. I had two years of German in high school and excelled. I took a year off, though, and when I signed up for a class at Western Illinois University in my sophomore year, well, my Deutsch was rather rusty. So I struggled through a semester with Professor Voss and decided afterward to expand my horizons. Ah, French. Language of lovers. That’s what I needed.

Another glove for the collection.

Well, as much as I romanticized French, I failed to buckle down and learn the verbal aspect of the tongue. I liked my professor, though I don’t recall his name. I remember telling him I was going to study my butt off over spring break and boost my grade for the second half of the term.

“Ah, Robert. You know what they call that in French? ‘Les bonne intention,’” he replied.

He was right. Good intentions. I did manage to have Mom buy a little wheel of Camembert and some grapes so I could sample the café life. No fan of wine, I passed on the obvious beverage choice.

Well, upon my return I was able to inform monsieur that I had at least sampled a little French culture, even if I failed to follow through on my study plans. He reiterated his catchphrase. Future efforts, even when I did follow through, were equally fruitless (not counting the grapes). I walked into one test with an air of confidence I didn’t exude outside of English lit classes (B.A. in B.S., baby). I even felt good after the test. Was I ever surprised when that paper bearing a big red “C” was returned to me.

Anybody know what these little plastic tags are for?

I should have stuck with German. I think if I were dumped there now I would pick it up in good time. Not instantly, mind you, but quickly enough. I’ve got a good start on the important stuff: “Ein Bier, bitte.” “Wo ist die Badzimmer?” (“A beer, please.” “Where is the bathroom?”) What more do you need in a foreign country?

Today's Stats

Temp: 46 degrees F

Distance: 3.1 miles

Treasure: 1 splintered pencil; 1 tiny green magic glove; 2 strange plastic tags; 7 cans (one was full! – Keystone Light).

iPod Playlist (Sweet WIU playlist)

(Shout out to Carmen Peterson to telling me about the check-box for opening links in a new window.)

Dance Hall Days – Wang Chung

Sister GoldenHair – America

You’re The Inspiration – Chicago

Lady – Styx

Best of Times – Styx

I Can DreamAbout You – Dan Hartman