Take the Money and Run

People laugh at the items I pick up while running. Last night my own grandmother asked, "Where'd you get that ugly hat?" when I showed up at the nursing home sporting my gold Galesburg Silver Streaks stocking cap. I don't think she heard me when I replied, "I found it in the middle of the street." That surely would have drawn a scowl of disgusted disapproval.

But let 'em laugh now. Today was the big payoff. I picked up $500,000.50! You read that right, five hundred thousand dollars and fifty cents.

I decided to run errands literally. I needed to hit the credit union for some cash to make good on my Register-Mail Paper Kettle donations for the Salvation Army Red Kettle Campaign, so I figured I'd work it into my run, rather than make a side trip on my bike. Running west on Mary Street a familiar-looking slip of white paper in the gutter catches my eye. I make a U-turn and pick up the 50 cent Hy-Vee milk coupon, the kind that come in the coupon booklets the GHS band and other groups sell each year. Hey, that's like real money -- 50 cents off a gallon of milk. Unfortunately it expired in 2008. OK, so that's really worth nothing. Subtract that from the total.

Still, $500,000 is the real haul. Who cares about chump change?

So after running through the credit union drive-thru, I head downtown to pay my debt to the Salvation Army. On Monroe Street, just off Losey, I see a blue detachable hood lying in the leaves along the gutter. Snapped a photo, but left the hood. After all, it was no use to me and it's possible, however unlikely, the kid who lost it on his way to school will discover it on his way home.

Well, where's the $500 grand, you ask. It came near the end, as I ran north on Chambers Street -- not a likely location to find $500,000. Nevertheless, there it was, poking out from the leaves on the sidewalk just south of North Street: one pale blue $500,000 bill -- genuine Monopoly money, baby! I couldn't pass it up.

Today's stats then:
Temp: a balmy 43 degrees F
Distance: 3.95 miles
Treasure: 1 expired 50-cent coupon, 1 $500,000 bill - Monopoly money, boy's coat hood (left behind)

iPod Playlist (shuffle)
Fisherman's Blues - The Waterboys
I Melt With You - Modern English
Reunion - Collective Soul
Tin Man - The Avett Brothers
Supermodels - Kendall Payne
My Vietnam - Pink
Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
Another Girl - The Beatles
January Wedding - The Avett Brothers
Kick Drum Heart - The Avett Brothers
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You - Colin Hay