Two Bridges, One Runner

What is it with people not finishing their drinks? If you can’t swill the whole 24-oz. can of Miller Lite, stick to the kiddie size cans, wuss. Your buddy should do the same. I assume there were two of you dolts drinking on South Henderson Street, as there were two unfinished cans within three feet. Maybe you just can’t stand your own backwash and you never finish a beer or a soda or anything in a can.

Why should I care? Well, in cold weather, that leftover swill in the bottom of the can gets icy and slushy and is a pain to clear out before I smash it to toss into my bag. I know, it’s selfish. Here’s less selfish: I wish I didn’t have any cans to pick up. I wish all the sloppy, lazy, careless dillweeds in the world would properly dispose of their refuse instead of tossing it aside or letting it blow around when the garbage can gets toppled.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, the potentially unrelated opening sequence to a James Bond film that is a whole other adventure. Except in my case the adventure doesn’t involve parkour or skis or skydiving. Just a slow run and some lame treasures. But lame treasures are better than no treasures. And Monday’s treasures are useable goods.

The first came in the gutter along South Henderson Street, maybe the 300 block or so. It was a backtracker. I’d passed it up, figuring the shiny metal to be a piece of tailpipe or something. But I decided to give closer inspection, which meant a turnaround after half a dozen strides. One end was closed, so it wasn’t tailpipe. Silver metal, faux hammer-marks cover the bottom half, like dimples on a golf ball. Remnants of a paper label still coat the bottom, but it’d been soaked off, so the Hometrends stamp is visible.

Google reveals Hometrendsto be the store brand at Walmart. I think I’ll clean up the cup and put it to use in some capacity: pen holder … cotton balls … safety pins from race bibs … I don’t know. But I love finding useful things. Stuff I don’t have to throw out or stuff in the Scout pack – you know, like Victoria’s Secret bras and such.

The next mile and a half saw nothing but cans. I was running south on Henderson Street with a mind to cross the W.C. Jackson Bridge, just because I’m such a challenge-seeker. Funny, the downhill side of that bridge was the hard part. Two extensive patches of snow and ice made me wary and caused me to hop and dodge in an effort to avoid slipping and pulling something I don’t want pulled. I know, Ellen, Yak Trax. But I think they would be ruined on raw pavement and that’s mostly what I’ve been running on lately. The snow and ice patches are intermittent and mostly avoidable. But Yak Trax are on my list.

The bridge leads eventually to Seminary Street and, this day, my chosen route back home. It was a few blocks north, between the two sets of tracks that cross Seminary within a block, that I spotted the shirt. I love finding clothes. Especially something I could potentially wear (though I am drawn to those bras). I have two pairs (or is it pair?) of shorts I’ve found that I wear, two T-shirts that I also wear, a couple of stocking caps (one I wear regularly) and one pair of gloves I’ve kept for myself. A few other articles have found their way to the freebie table in my apartment lobby (after a good washing). The Harley-Davidson do-rag awaits the right moment to grace my noggin.

The T-shirt is a grey shirt from the 2010 6^th Annual Knoxville Cruise Night. Here’s a story about the 2009 edition by former R-M reporter Marco Santana. The sleeves have been cut off and the sides cut deep, too. Not exactly my style (unless I can melt the insulation away from my six-pack abs.; oh, and get a tan), but I may don this cast-off for some summer running. Watch for it.

Today's Stats (Jan. 7)

Temp: 33 degrees F

Distance: 3.83 miles

Treasure: 1 T-shirt, sleeves cut off (6^th Annual Knoxville Cruise Night, 2010); 1 metal bathroom cup (Hometrends, Walmart brand); 1 hotel key card; 41 cans.

iPod Playlist (80s Dance Mix):

You Keep Me Hangin’On – Kim Wilde

Prove Your Love – Taylor Dayne

I Wanna Be a Cowboy – Boys Don’t Cry (Funny video)

Wild Wild West – The Escape Club

I Want Your Sex (Parts 1 & 2) – George Michael

Tell It to My Heart – Taylor Dayne (Man, I loved Taylor Dayne.)

Two of Hearts – Stacey Q

Walk Like an Egyptian – The Bangles

Alive and Kicking – Simple Minds

Burning Down the House (live) – Talking Heads