Mixin’ It Up: Part 3

Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Who am I kidding? Nobody mentioned is innocent. I’m protecting me from lawsuits. I hope.

Me and Annie B. (Grammar aside.)

In my last entry, I prematurely postulated about the content of my lewd liner notes:

“I knew it was personal. I knew it was uncomfortably detailed in some spots. I’d forgotten how specific I was in naming names and giving blow-by-blow description in some places (pun intended). After I began this little blog filler idea of sharing the notes publicly, I thought it might be wise to review what I’d written before diving in the way I had when I sent the notes to my friend without having read them again first.

“So let me confess here and now, I will be censoring the notes. I think mostly I’ll change some names or leave out last names. ... I know my parents read my blog and occasionally two of my daughters read it. As much as none of us wants to think of our parents or our kids having sex, we all know it has or will happen.

Mum and Dad, girls, this is your fair warning, like a spoiler alert in a movie review: Do not read further if you’re afraid of reading about my youthful exploits. Tell you what, I’ll attach a bold Explicit label to each entry that merits it. That way you can read the other stuff and avoid the bawdy parts.

From "poof" to "doof." With Keith and Steve at the Alpha
Phi Omega formal one year.

Again, I realize this is pretty personal and raw. Again, I was writing about life as a college guy. And we've all experienced this stuff, or some variation on it. I just happen to put it out there from a non-fictional view. It's not “Fifty Shades,” it's real. And by that I am only saying that people seem to have no shame in reading that and writing that, so what’s the big deal about reading and writing it for real?

So sexploits aside, maybe the whole theme here stirs the echoes of your own college experience, particularly if the music resonates. I know it has for at least one person. That’s touching. That’s real. That’s deeper than picking up random trash on the street and writing about the stained pink panties or full can of beer I stumbled upon. A friend’s blog is real like that. All about shared experiences. So enjoy this bit of raunch-filled reverie and recall your own. And realize we’re not all that different, maybe, sort of.

Today's Stats

Temp: 18 degrees F (26 at the finish)

Distance: 5.33 miles

Weekly Total: 9.58 miles

Treasure: 1 pair pink Haynes panties, size 12 (um, stained – ick); 1 pink rubber bracelet (skull and crossbones and hearts); 1 Fun Times pencil from McDonald’s; 40 cans.

iPod Playlist (Sweet WIU Mix: Part 3):

18. I'm On Fire (Bruce Springsteen): Seeking womanly companionship after the breakup, I called up a little sister from my fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. Actually, I knew she was out of town that weekend, but suspected her promiscuous roomie would be around. Not sure what led me to that conclusion about Roomie, but I followed my instinct. Another Catholic buddy, John Durham, an upperclassman living in Corbin, came along for (im)moral support and I met Roomie in the Union for a game of billiards. Eventually we decided to head out on our own, so I said g'bye and thanks to John and we headed back to her lonely room in Washington Hall at the south end of campus. Soon enough we were fooling around and doing the nasty. Another Wow! moment. Oh, yeah, the Boss. During later sessions in our year-plus sexual relationship we would sometimes play "Born in the USA." This tune in particular applies to how we felt.

EXPLICIT

19. I'm Going Down (Bruce Springsteen): Um, well, Roomie had an oral fixation, if you will. And, um, one time this song happened to come on at just the right moment and it caused us both to giggle a little. Then we got back to the job at hand, so to speak.

20. I Want Your Sex (George Michael): I loved to dance to this one after I'd had a few at The Regulator. It pretty much summed up my feelings toward Roomie.

21. Why Can't This Be Love (Van Halen): Though happy enough with the sex we were having, quite frequently and loudly (she made me shy), Roomie really wanted more, though it didn't cause her to give me an ultimatum. I even tried playing the jerk one day and told her it would never be anything more than sex. She clung to her hope until she left school the summer before my senior year and joined the Marines. (Addendum: She assured me years later we were just friends with benefits and it was all cool.)

22. The Lazarus Heart (Sting): Ann and I kind of dated off and on in some sort of dysfunctional relationship my senior year (semester). It may actually have begun junior year, I just don't recall. I rode to Chicago with her one weekend and stayed with my friend Betsy Sickbert in Schaumburg while Ann went home. Betsy let me use her car while she was off with boyfriend Eric (I think they were still together at the time) and I drove to Woodfield Mall and later stopped at a music store nearby. As I was shopping, Sting's new album "Nothing Like the Sun" came on and I was transfixed by the opening track. (Imagine the scene in "High Fidelity": "I will now sell five copies of ...") Bought the album (cassette) and later played it for Ann. She loved it but couldn't believe at first that it was Sting.

23. Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley): Rick Astley is a red-headed white boy from England. Ann thought for sure he was a soulful black man, based on that sexy voice. She just didn't believe me on shit. Sense a pattern?

24. Tell It To My Heart (Taylor Dayne): Ann was not one to casually tell somebody she loved them. So, fool that I am I would push and play the game. You know, where you say it to see if your lover will repeat it. I got it once. It was a lie. We were never even lovers. I just got dragged along like a sick puppy dog. Which takes us to the next song.

25. I Don't Wanna (The Call): For the longest time I pursued Ann. We dined together and hung out with friends, but she would never call it dating. Sensing my plight, a friend on Corbin 4, two floors down from the co-ed floor on which Ann and I lived, called me to his room one night and said, "I've got a song for you." Nail ... on ... the ... head! I really was tired of begging for her. Of course, I kept on doing it until she declared us a couple. I ate that up. And she swore she would never end it via letter, as she had heard of other girls doing. Well, I graduated in mid-December 1987 and by the end of the month I had my Dear John letter. Bitch. Then she had the gall to express disappointment that I didn't invite her to my wedding, or so I heard later through a mutual friend. Whatever.

26. Lucky Star (Madonna): Boy, despite all that, Ann really got bent out of shape when she saw me dancing with Aina Suailte (not sure about that spelling) to this song at The Regulator one night. It happened to be Aina's last night out, as she was graduating or something. Aina was, as Ann put it, a "blonde bombshell" and that made little Annie B. jealous. Too f-ing bad, now that I know what I know about you, Annie B. Aina, by the way, was a grad student in college student personnel (those folks who become residence hall directors and such) and had been my boss the summer before when I worked at the Olson Conference Center info desk.

EXPLICIT (Mild)

27. Songbird (Kenny G): Ann was into smooth jazz like Kenny G, the Yellowjackets and whatnot. I suppose she went with me to the Spyro Gyra concert at Western Hall my senior year, but I don't remember it all that well. It was cool, but my head was a mess in those days. This is a step up from your typical porno jazz. It would have been nice to make love to this song just once. Alas, I barely got a handful of breast. The one time we came close I believe Laura Branigan was playing; or maybe that was another time we were just making out on my funky couch. But our one close call was thwarted by my lack of condoms. That probably was wise at least. Went and bought some after that, but they sat unused and were discovered by my dad when we were packing up my room after commencement. I'd been out partying the night before and didn't have a thing packed. Still, it was less than Melissa has in her room.

28. If Ever You're In My Arms Again (Peabo Bryson): Whoa, backtrack. This is a good next-to-closer given the previous subject matter -- love lost and all that. But it dates back to those early days with Dave and MB, et al. Dave liked this kind of easy listening pap, and it grew on me, too. Well, one afternoon he, Jana and MB and I (don't recall if Harry and Rosie were there) were in Dave's room and we started dancing. Dave put this song on and proceeded to make it last for-ev-er. Toward the end the chorus repeats several times. Well, Dave would maneuver over to the turntable and, unbeknownst to Jana, lift the tonearm at just the right time and move the needle back a bit to keep it repeating even more. Finally she says, "This is the longest song." What an idiot. She was kind of clueless.

29. (I've Had) The Time of My Life (Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes): I honestly don't recall if we ever saw the movie together, though we may have, or perhaps the song was playing on the radio in Dawnie's car as we drove back to Corbin after a night drinking at Tom's Cafe, but I kind of like this tune and I began singing it, doing my best to mimic Bill Medley. Ann, a member of the Newcomers show choir at WIU along with Dawn, was impressed with my voice -- "for someone without any training," anyway. That was kind of nice. Maybe you're not a bitch. I can't decide.

Bonus Tracks

(I ran out of the playlist, so I turned to the Melissa Mix, created for my oldest daughter as high school graduation approached.)

Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears): I don’t know if I wrote liner notes when I made the mix for Melissa. But every song had a purpose, a message. I guess the message here was that I know what it feels like to graduate from high school (no big deal, really) and have the world before you. The allure of college awaits and you anticipate great conquest. Good luck.

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) (Baz Luhrman/Quindon Tarver): Here’s the story behind the song, which was used in “William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet.” I just love the advice contained herein, from the sunscreen part to the “save your love letters, throw away your old bank statements” and all the rest. I hope she took it all to heart. Well, as an auditor, perhaps she knows to keep her old bank statements for seven years.