Songs for My Daughter

I thought I was done writing about music. I really don’t know anything about it, but I know what I like and I know how to express myself through it. I came up with another topic for the next blog after I exhausted my most personal playlist. But I think I’ll save that one for another day. I just wasn’t ready for that one. Tough subject, and again very personal.

I decided to hit the music once more. Why not finish what I started at the end of the last blog? Musical advice for my baby girl as she prepared to graduate high school five and a half years ago. And it lets me off the hook if I happen to have an empty bag after my run. Well, a funny thing happened while I was running Saturday. I found stuff. Lots of stuff. Some of it even sort of cool and curious.

First was the tiny, furry Christmas stocking with the name Hayley in gold glitter glue across the top. The foot was green. Obviously somebody’s castoff post-holiday. I picked it up, thinking it might end up on my tree. In the end, I pitched it. Maybe I should dig it out?

Then there was the Chevrolet hub cap. We’re talking hub cap, not wheel cover, so I suspect it’s from a pickup. I’m torn picking those up. Might the owner retrace his or her route looking for the missing cap? I really do feel kind of bad. Maybe I’ll return it to the spot on South Henderson Street just in case.

 The Hardee’s gift card likely has no money left on it, though I cashed in for $1.83 on a Q’s Café card last year. The nylon tie-down strap is only half, but I think there could be a use for the two feet of webbing. Probably not, but I’m just that much of a scavenger. I’ll keep it a while. The Phillips screwdriver is a useful tool; the rust wiped right off.

The strangest and coolest find was, sadly, not worth picking up: a volume of the Time Life World War II series titled “Across the Rhine.” The elements have not been kind to the book, though at first glance it appeared viable. But as I tried to open the cover, it clung to moist and frozen leaves inside and separated from the spine. I persisted and opened to a few spots just to check it out. Here’s a photo of one spread. How did this fine tome wind up on the roadside at the approach to a long bridge over the railyards? Sad end for a volume of history.

Well, all the while I was listening to the Melissa mix. Finished it on this long run and had to delve into another mix, but I won’t venture into that or I’ll be writing about music forever. Hmmm.

Anyway, as I prepared to send my oldest baby girl off to college and I reminisced about my own college days, I wanted to impart some advice and words of encouragement. I could presumably prattle on with my own idiotic ramblings, but like I said, I express through music. Now, I understand somebody else could come up with 20 other songs, maybe better, maybe more classic, whatever. But I express through my experience, right? These are the songs that I know and love that worked to tell her what I wanted her to know.

If I wrote liner notes, I don’t know where they are right now. The notes below are my thoughts now on the significance of each song. Most speak for themselves, really.  

Today's Stats (Saturday, Jan. 26)

Temp: 18 degrees F

Distance: 6.35 miles

Weekly Total: 15.93 miles

Treasure: 1 Chevy hub cap; 1 tiny green Christmas stocking (name: Hayley); 1 NAPA Evercraft Phillips screwdriver; 1 mechanical pencil (no led); 1 tie-down strap, green (snapped/frayed); 1 Hardee’s Thickburger card; 1 World War II coffee table book, “Across the Rhine” (frozen to the ground just off the County 10 bridge; 41 cans. 

"My cheeks are sore from smiling so much."
Graduation Day 2007, Galesburg High School

 iPod Playlist (Melissa's Mix):

Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears: I don’t know if I wrote liner notes when I made the mix for Melissa. But every song had a purpose, a message. I guess the message here was that I know what it feels like to graduate from high school (no big deal, really) and have the world before you. The allure of college awaits and you anticipate great conquest. Good luck.

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) – Baz Luhrman/Quindon Tarver: Here’s the story behind the song, which was used in “William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet.” I just love the advice contained herein, from the sunscreen part to the “save your love letters, throw away your old bank statements” and all the rest. I hope she took it all to heart. Well, as an auditor, perhaps she knows to keep her old bank statements for seven years.

Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield: This was a popular tune back in 2006 or 2007, during Melissa’s high school upperclassman years. I like the idea of life as a book. It’s the ultimate “choose your own adventure” story.

Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac: This version of the song from Fleetwood Mac’s live reunion album “The Dance” reminds me that I did write liner notes. I told Melissa I chose this version for its use of the USC marching band, which is a fond memory for me because of the “Tusk” connection. Band geeks – drummers in particular – always loved that.

Walk Between the Raindrops – James McMurtry: If you’re my age and you’ve watched your kids grow up with cellphones and laptops, you get this. “You’re up all night by the monitor’s light / sleeping through the afternoon. … It’s just that in between all the words on the screen / I doubt you ever hear a human voice.” Frustration of a parent who didn’t grow up with all these gadgets.

The Grand Illusion – Styx: Music from my youth. The message: Don’t buy into all you see around you, presented as the way it should be. It ain’t about keeping up with the Joneses.

More Than This – Avalon: This one’s the hardest to explain. There is more than this. There’s nothing more than this. I don’t know. Strive. Don’t expect it all. Sometimes you have to find your own meaning – this is one of those times.

The Lie – Matthew West: Daddy trying to protect his little girl. Don’t give in to peer pressure regarding sex and drugs and all that. You’ll regret it. OK, so by high school graduation it’s kinda late for that talk. We’d already had it. This was just a reminder.

Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own – U2: Kind of like the book I had read, “You’re On Your Own Now (But I’m Here if You Need Me).” You’re tough. I know it. You’re amazingly independent and resilient. But sometimes you need somebody. When it gets like that, let me shoulder the burden. Actually, Melissa’s pretty grounded in her faith and I’ll bet she never had much trouble leaning on Christ. Props to her mom for really encouraging that through the years.

You’re Only Human (Second Wind) – Billy Joel: You know by now how I love Billy Joel. Well, Billy says hardship helps make us stronger. Mistakes are a given in life. They’re all yours. Learn from ‘em and move on. Grow and improve. Keep trying.

Beautiful – Christina Aguilera: Girls, no matter how classically beautiful (and my daughters all are) somehow end up with self-esteem issues. Or they can. It’s a shame and I know men are partly to blame. But they do a lot of it themselves. (See “Everybody’s Free” above: “Don’t read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.”) Well, Christina says ignore everybody else, the naysayers and critics. You. Are. Beautiful.

Let Your Light Shine – Keb’ Mo’: Show ‘em who you are. Be real and be proud and let the world see your light. Not only will you feel good, you might just make somebody else feel good, too.

I Hope You Dance – Lee Ann Womack: Somebody is gagging, shaking his head, rolling her eyes. This is so cliché and kitschy. Whatever. It’s the ultimate parent-to-child song (or one of ‘em). I don’t need to quote it. You know it. If you don’t, click on the video link.

Against the Grain – Garth Brooks: I love Garth Brooks. I know he’s not traditional country. So what? This one, like “Friends in Low Places,” is about being yourself. I guess that’s my overall message: Be YOU. It’s OK to follow sometimes, but for God’s sake, don’t be afraid to do your own thing and to take a stand and to “go against the grain.” Be a trailblazer even.

For a Dancer – Jackson Browne: This is a hard one. It’s about death. And life. Melissa, being the oldest, was the first to take dance and I think she stuck with it longer than her sisters. Maybe. But she’s the one I’ll always think of as a dancer. The hard part is associating a song about death with your baby. I come close to tears almost every time I hear it. I’m pulled from the brink by the life message here. “Keep a fire burning in your eyes / pay attention to the open sky. / You never know what will be coming down.” Jesus, I’m almost in tears now. Pull it together, sap-boy.

Life Uncommon – Jewel: Have courage and character. This is one powerful song, beautifully sung. Be strong. “Fill you lives with love and bravery / and you shall lead a life uncommon.” Seriously powerful stuff. Listen to the lyrics. All of them. Now live them.

Tomorrow Never Knows – The Beatles: Had to get The Beatles in there. My foundation. Maybe a dozen songs would have better advice for the young graduate. But I needed a closer and something to speak to the unknown future. This did it.