Sex on the Beach in January

I know it’s colder today. And I know this is the Midwest and the only beach here is Lake Storey. So you’ve got to be wondering. Is he talking about the drink? Is he dreaming? Was he on vacation someplace warm?

None of the above. It just popped into my head as I ran along North Street this morning. I think I was actually thinking of some blogging tips I read yesterday, courtesy of JayRedfern. Get this, the blogger writing this stuff is 18! Anyway, one of the tips to better blogging was to put some effort into the headline. Make it an attention grabber, but don’t reveal so much that people won’t feel compelled to read. Leave ’em wanting to read. Duh.

Well, I figured I would be enticed by the notion of sex on the beach in January. So maybe other people would be curious, too. Prurient? Yes. Cheap? Certainly. But I doubt I’m dragging anyone in here kicking and screaming.

So where do we go from there? I’ve no idea. Well, coincidentally, speaking of the beach, I spotted one of the strangest things I’ve seen while running this morning. Lying there in the frosty grass of a yard on East Fremont Street was a little fish, a bluegill or something. I suppose somebody could have brought it home after ice fishing, but why did it end up on the lawn? WTF? Oh, don’t worry, I left it. Imagine the story it would have been had I brought it home and fileted it. Ha! 

But really, how does a bluegill find its dead self lying on a lawn on January 30^th? Did some fisherman decide it wasn’t worth keeping and toss it on the lawn for the crows? I know I shouldn’t muddle my mind with such mysteries. It’s senseless and pointless and a waste of good cogitation capacity, though in my defense it’s my day off and I don’t really have to do much serious thinking today. Then again, I could set my noodle to the task of conjuring a story worth telling. Never gonna write that brilliant sentence I’d like to create let alone a wicked short story or the great American novel if I’m preoccupied with the origin of dead fish on a lawn in mid-winter. Am I now?

I found another wheel cover today, too. This time I picked it up. Maybe it will fit Amanda’s car. The front driver’s side wheel cover on her Toyota Corolla went rolling off into the median two summers ago when we hit a pothole on the Eisenhower (I think) on our way to Chicago. I’ve found a few others, a couple of them Toyota brand even, but none fit. This one looks smaller, so perhaps it’ll do the trick, even if it doesn’t match.

Maybe I should return to writing about music. Muse upon the songs that play at random during each run. For a little help I can fall back on an existing playlist, one with a theme. But I’m no Nick Hornby, so I’m not sure if that’ll carry readers very far. Let me think on it a while. If I can get that damned bluegill out of my head.

Today's Stats

Temp: 33 degrees F

Distance: 3.85 miles

Weekly Total: 3.85 miles

Treasure: 1 plastic wheel cover; 1 plastic bat decoration; 1 orange plastic pumpkin bottle (cracked); 1 dead fish; 39 cans.

iPod Playlist (Shuffle):

The Reflex – Duran Duran

Alice – Avril Lavigne

Every 1’s A Winner – Hot Chocolate

When Doves Cry – Prince

Let Your Light Shine – Keb’ Mo’

Darlin – Avril Lavigne

Some Like It Hot – Power Station

Scenes From An ItalianRestaurant – Billy Joel (One of my all-time faves! And this is a great video - watch it. Check out Billy shaking off a cramp or something in his left hand.)

Walk Walk – The Call

Oh Girl – Paul Young

Better Be Good To Me – Tina Turner

Songs for My Daughter

I thought I was done writing about music. I really don’t know anything about it, but I know what I like and I know how to express myself through it. I came up with another topic for the next blog after I exhausted my most personal playlist. But I think I’ll save that one for another day. I just wasn’t ready for that one. Tough subject, and again very personal.

I decided to hit the music once more. Why not finish what I started at the end of the last blog? Musical advice for my baby girl as she prepared to graduate high school five and a half years ago. And it lets me off the hook if I happen to have an empty bag after my run. Well, a funny thing happened while I was running Saturday. I found stuff. Lots of stuff. Some of it even sort of cool and curious.

First was the tiny, furry Christmas stocking with the name Hayley in gold glitter glue across the top. The foot was green. Obviously somebody’s castoff post-holiday. I picked it up, thinking it might end up on my tree. In the end, I pitched it. Maybe I should dig it out?

Then there was the Chevrolet hub cap. We’re talking hub cap, not wheel cover, so I suspect it’s from a pickup. I’m torn picking those up. Might the owner retrace his or her route looking for the missing cap? I really do feel kind of bad. Maybe I’ll return it to the spot on South Henderson Street just in case.

 The Hardee’s gift card likely has no money left on it, though I cashed in for $1.83 on a Q’s Café card last year. The nylon tie-down strap is only half, but I think there could be a use for the two feet of webbing. Probably not, but I’m just that much of a scavenger. I’ll keep it a while. The Phillips screwdriver is a useful tool; the rust wiped right off.

The strangest and coolest find was, sadly, not worth picking up: a volume of the Time Life World War II series titled “Across the Rhine.” The elements have not been kind to the book, though at first glance it appeared viable. But as I tried to open the cover, it clung to moist and frozen leaves inside and separated from the spine. I persisted and opened to a few spots just to check it out. Here’s a photo of one spread. How did this fine tome wind up on the roadside at the approach to a long bridge over the railyards? Sad end for a volume of history.

Well, all the while I was listening to the Melissa mix. Finished it on this long run and had to delve into another mix, but I won’t venture into that or I’ll be writing about music forever. Hmmm.

Anyway, as I prepared to send my oldest baby girl off to college and I reminisced about my own college days, I wanted to impart some advice and words of encouragement. I could presumably prattle on with my own idiotic ramblings, but like I said, I express through music. Now, I understand somebody else could come up with 20 other songs, maybe better, maybe more classic, whatever. But I express through my experience, right? These are the songs that I know and love that worked to tell her what I wanted her to know.

If I wrote liner notes, I don’t know where they are right now. The notes below are my thoughts now on the significance of each song. Most speak for themselves, really.  

Today's Stats (Saturday, Jan. 26)

Temp: 18 degrees F

Distance: 6.35 miles

Weekly Total: 15.93 miles

Treasure: 1 Chevy hub cap; 1 tiny green Christmas stocking (name: Hayley); 1 NAPA Evercraft Phillips screwdriver; 1 mechanical pencil (no led); 1 tie-down strap, green (snapped/frayed); 1 Hardee’s Thickburger card; 1 World War II coffee table book, “Across the Rhine” (frozen to the ground just off the County 10 bridge; 41 cans. 

"My cheeks are sore from smiling so much."
Graduation Day 2007, Galesburg High School

 iPod Playlist (Melissa's Mix):

Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears: I don’t know if I wrote liner notes when I made the mix for Melissa. But every song had a purpose, a message. I guess the message here was that I know what it feels like to graduate from high school (no big deal, really) and have the world before you. The allure of college awaits and you anticipate great conquest. Good luck.

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) – Baz Luhrman/Quindon Tarver: Here’s the story behind the song, which was used in “William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet.” I just love the advice contained herein, from the sunscreen part to the “save your love letters, throw away your old bank statements” and all the rest. I hope she took it all to heart. Well, as an auditor, perhaps she knows to keep her old bank statements for seven years.

Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield: This was a popular tune back in 2006 or 2007, during Melissa’s high school upperclassman years. I like the idea of life as a book. It’s the ultimate “choose your own adventure” story.

Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac: This version of the song from Fleetwood Mac’s live reunion album “The Dance” reminds me that I did write liner notes. I told Melissa I chose this version for its use of the USC marching band, which is a fond memory for me because of the “Tusk” connection. Band geeks – drummers in particular – always loved that.

Walk Between the Raindrops – James McMurtry: If you’re my age and you’ve watched your kids grow up with cellphones and laptops, you get this. “You’re up all night by the monitor’s light / sleeping through the afternoon. … It’s just that in between all the words on the screen / I doubt you ever hear a human voice.” Frustration of a parent who didn’t grow up with all these gadgets.

The Grand Illusion – Styx: Music from my youth. The message: Don’t buy into all you see around you, presented as the way it should be. It ain’t about keeping up with the Joneses.

More Than This – Avalon: This one’s the hardest to explain. There is more than this. There’s nothing more than this. I don’t know. Strive. Don’t expect it all. Sometimes you have to find your own meaning – this is one of those times.

The Lie – Matthew West: Daddy trying to protect his little girl. Don’t give in to peer pressure regarding sex and drugs and all that. You’ll regret it. OK, so by high school graduation it’s kinda late for that talk. We’d already had it. This was just a reminder.

Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own – U2: Kind of like the book I had read, “You’re On Your Own Now (But I’m Here if You Need Me).” You’re tough. I know it. You’re amazingly independent and resilient. But sometimes you need somebody. When it gets like that, let me shoulder the burden. Actually, Melissa’s pretty grounded in her faith and I’ll bet she never had much trouble leaning on Christ. Props to her mom for really encouraging that through the years.

You’re Only Human (Second Wind) – Billy Joel: You know by now how I love Billy Joel. Well, Billy says hardship helps make us stronger. Mistakes are a given in life. They’re all yours. Learn from ‘em and move on. Grow and improve. Keep trying.

Beautiful – Christina Aguilera: Girls, no matter how classically beautiful (and my daughters all are) somehow end up with self-esteem issues. Or they can. It’s a shame and I know men are partly to blame. But they do a lot of it themselves. (See “Everybody’s Free” above: “Don’t read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.”) Well, Christina says ignore everybody else, the naysayers and critics. You. Are. Beautiful.

Let Your Light Shine – Keb’ Mo’: Show ‘em who you are. Be real and be proud and let the world see your light. Not only will you feel good, you might just make somebody else feel good, too.

I Hope You Dance – Lee Ann Womack: Somebody is gagging, shaking his head, rolling her eyes. This is so cliché and kitschy. Whatever. It’s the ultimate parent-to-child song (or one of ‘em). I don’t need to quote it. You know it. If you don’t, click on the video link.

Against the Grain – Garth Brooks: I love Garth Brooks. I know he’s not traditional country. So what? This one, like “Friends in Low Places,” is about being yourself. I guess that’s my overall message: Be YOU. It’s OK to follow sometimes, but for God’s sake, don’t be afraid to do your own thing and to take a stand and to “go against the grain.” Be a trailblazer even.

For a Dancer – Jackson Browne: This is a hard one. It’s about death. And life. Melissa, being the oldest, was the first to take dance and I think she stuck with it longer than her sisters. Maybe. But she’s the one I’ll always think of as a dancer. The hard part is associating a song about death with your baby. I come close to tears almost every time I hear it. I’m pulled from the brink by the life message here. “Keep a fire burning in your eyes / pay attention to the open sky. / You never know what will be coming down.” Jesus, I’m almost in tears now. Pull it together, sap-boy.

Life Uncommon – Jewel: Have courage and character. This is one powerful song, beautifully sung. Be strong. “Fill you lives with love and bravery / and you shall lead a life uncommon.” Seriously powerful stuff. Listen to the lyrics. All of them. Now live them.

Tomorrow Never Knows – The Beatles: Had to get The Beatles in there. My foundation. Maybe a dozen songs would have better advice for the young graduate. But I needed a closer and something to speak to the unknown future. This did it.

Mixin’ It Up: Part 3

Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Who am I kidding? Nobody mentioned is innocent. I’m protecting me from lawsuits. I hope.

Me and Annie B. (Grammar aside.)

In my last entry, I prematurely postulated about the content of my lewd liner notes:

“I knew it was personal. I knew it was uncomfortably detailed in some spots. I’d forgotten how specific I was in naming names and giving blow-by-blow description in some places (pun intended). After I began this little blog filler idea of sharing the notes publicly, I thought it might be wise to review what I’d written before diving in the way I had when I sent the notes to my friend without having read them again first.

“So let me confess here and now, I will be censoring the notes. I think mostly I’ll change some names or leave out last names. ... I know my parents read my blog and occasionally two of my daughters read it. As much as none of us wants to think of our parents or our kids having sex, we all know it has or will happen.

Mum and Dad, girls, this is your fair warning, like a spoiler alert in a movie review: Do not read further if you’re afraid of reading about my youthful exploits. Tell you what, I’ll attach a bold Explicit label to each entry that merits it. That way you can read the other stuff and avoid the bawdy parts.

From "poof" to "doof." With Keith and Steve at the Alpha
Phi Omega formal one year.

Again, I realize this is pretty personal and raw. Again, I was writing about life as a college guy. And we've all experienced this stuff, or some variation on it. I just happen to put it out there from a non-fictional view. It's not “Fifty Shades,” it's real. And by that I am only saying that people seem to have no shame in reading that and writing that, so what’s the big deal about reading and writing it for real?

So sexploits aside, maybe the whole theme here stirs the echoes of your own college experience, particularly if the music resonates. I know it has for at least one person. That’s touching. That’s real. That’s deeper than picking up random trash on the street and writing about the stained pink panties or full can of beer I stumbled upon. A friend’s blog is real like that. All about shared experiences. So enjoy this bit of raunch-filled reverie and recall your own. And realize we’re not all that different, maybe, sort of.

Today's Stats

Temp: 18 degrees F (26 at the finish)

Distance: 5.33 miles

Weekly Total: 9.58 miles

Treasure: 1 pair pink Haynes panties, size 12 (um, stained – ick); 1 pink rubber bracelet (skull and crossbones and hearts); 1 Fun Times pencil from McDonald’s; 40 cans.

iPod Playlist (Sweet WIU Mix: Part 3):

18. I'm On Fire (Bruce Springsteen): Seeking womanly companionship after the breakup, I called up a little sister from my fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. Actually, I knew she was out of town that weekend, but suspected her promiscuous roomie would be around. Not sure what led me to that conclusion about Roomie, but I followed my instinct. Another Catholic buddy, John Durham, an upperclassman living in Corbin, came along for (im)moral support and I met Roomie in the Union for a game of billiards. Eventually we decided to head out on our own, so I said g'bye and thanks to John and we headed back to her lonely room in Washington Hall at the south end of campus. Soon enough we were fooling around and doing the nasty. Another Wow! moment. Oh, yeah, the Boss. During later sessions in our year-plus sexual relationship we would sometimes play "Born in the USA." This tune in particular applies to how we felt.

EXPLICIT

19. I'm Going Down (Bruce Springsteen): Um, well, Roomie had an oral fixation, if you will. And, um, one time this song happened to come on at just the right moment and it caused us both to giggle a little. Then we got back to the job at hand, so to speak.

20. I Want Your Sex (George Michael): I loved to dance to this one after I'd had a few at The Regulator. It pretty much summed up my feelings toward Roomie.

21. Why Can't This Be Love (Van Halen): Though happy enough with the sex we were having, quite frequently and loudly (she made me shy), Roomie really wanted more, though it didn't cause her to give me an ultimatum. I even tried playing the jerk one day and told her it would never be anything more than sex. She clung to her hope until she left school the summer before my senior year and joined the Marines. (Addendum: She assured me years later we were just friends with benefits and it was all cool.)

22. The Lazarus Heart (Sting): Ann and I kind of dated off and on in some sort of dysfunctional relationship my senior year (semester). It may actually have begun junior year, I just don't recall. I rode to Chicago with her one weekend and stayed with my friend Betsy Sickbert in Schaumburg while Ann went home. Betsy let me use her car while she was off with boyfriend Eric (I think they were still together at the time) and I drove to Woodfield Mall and later stopped at a music store nearby. As I was shopping, Sting's new album "Nothing Like the Sun" came on and I was transfixed by the opening track. (Imagine the scene in "High Fidelity": "I will now sell five copies of ...") Bought the album (cassette) and later played it for Ann. She loved it but couldn't believe at first that it was Sting.

23. Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley): Rick Astley is a red-headed white boy from England. Ann thought for sure he was a soulful black man, based on that sexy voice. She just didn't believe me on shit. Sense a pattern?

24. Tell It To My Heart (Taylor Dayne): Ann was not one to casually tell somebody she loved them. So, fool that I am I would push and play the game. You know, where you say it to see if your lover will repeat it. I got it once. It was a lie. We were never even lovers. I just got dragged along like a sick puppy dog. Which takes us to the next song.

25. I Don't Wanna (The Call): For the longest time I pursued Ann. We dined together and hung out with friends, but she would never call it dating. Sensing my plight, a friend on Corbin 4, two floors down from the co-ed floor on which Ann and I lived, called me to his room one night and said, "I've got a song for you." Nail ... on ... the ... head! I really was tired of begging for her. Of course, I kept on doing it until she declared us a couple. I ate that up. And she swore she would never end it via letter, as she had heard of other girls doing. Well, I graduated in mid-December 1987 and by the end of the month I had my Dear John letter. Bitch. Then she had the gall to express disappointment that I didn't invite her to my wedding, or so I heard later through a mutual friend. Whatever.

26. Lucky Star (Madonna): Boy, despite all that, Ann really got bent out of shape when she saw me dancing with Aina Suailte (not sure about that spelling) to this song at The Regulator one night. It happened to be Aina's last night out, as she was graduating or something. Aina was, as Ann put it, a "blonde bombshell" and that made little Annie B. jealous. Too f-ing bad, now that I know what I know about you, Annie B. Aina, by the way, was a grad student in college student personnel (those folks who become residence hall directors and such) and had been my boss the summer before when I worked at the Olson Conference Center info desk.

EXPLICIT (Mild)

27. Songbird (Kenny G): Ann was into smooth jazz like Kenny G, the Yellowjackets and whatnot. I suppose she went with me to the Spyro Gyra concert at Western Hall my senior year, but I don't remember it all that well. It was cool, but my head was a mess in those days. This is a step up from your typical porno jazz. It would have been nice to make love to this song just once. Alas, I barely got a handful of breast. The one time we came close I believe Laura Branigan was playing; or maybe that was another time we were just making out on my funky couch. But our one close call was thwarted by my lack of condoms. That probably was wise at least. Went and bought some after that, but they sat unused and were discovered by my dad when we were packing up my room after commencement. I'd been out partying the night before and didn't have a thing packed. Still, it was less than Melissa has in her room.

28. If Ever You're In My Arms Again (Peabo Bryson): Whoa, backtrack. This is a good next-to-closer given the previous subject matter -- love lost and all that. But it dates back to those early days with Dave and MB, et al. Dave liked this kind of easy listening pap, and it grew on me, too. Well, one afternoon he, Jana and MB and I (don't recall if Harry and Rosie were there) were in Dave's room and we started dancing. Dave put this song on and proceeded to make it last for-ev-er. Toward the end the chorus repeats several times. Well, Dave would maneuver over to the turntable and, unbeknownst to Jana, lift the tonearm at just the right time and move the needle back a bit to keep it repeating even more. Finally she says, "This is the longest song." What an idiot. She was kind of clueless.

29. (I've Had) The Time of My Life (Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes): I honestly don't recall if we ever saw the movie together, though we may have, or perhaps the song was playing on the radio in Dawnie's car as we drove back to Corbin after a night drinking at Tom's Cafe, but I kind of like this tune and I began singing it, doing my best to mimic Bill Medley. Ann, a member of the Newcomers show choir at WIU along with Dawn, was impressed with my voice -- "for someone without any training," anyway. That was kind of nice. Maybe you're not a bitch. I can't decide.

Bonus Tracks

(I ran out of the playlist, so I turned to the Melissa Mix, created for my oldest daughter as high school graduation approached.)

Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears): I don’t know if I wrote liner notes when I made the mix for Melissa. But every song had a purpose, a message. I guess the message here was that I know what it feels like to graduate from high school (no big deal, really) and have the world before you. The allure of college awaits and you anticipate great conquest. Good luck.

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) (Baz Luhrman/Quindon Tarver): Here’s the story behind the song, which was used in “William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet.” I just love the advice contained herein, from the sunscreen part to the “save your love letters, throw away your old bank statements” and all the rest. I hope she took it all to heart. Well, as an auditor, perhaps she knows to keep her old bank statements for seven years.