Kiss Me, I’m Irish

It took clever eyes to notice the twist on the old come-on printed at the bottom of the Get Lucky7K race bibs. KISS ME I’M IRISH stood out boldly in white type on the green background. But nestled around IRISH in a lighter green and tinier type were the words “running in an” … “themed race.” Thus nobody could be declared a poser, wannabe or cliché bearer. Which I’m sure suited one member of our group, Nicole, who was adamant in her denial of any Irish heritage whatsoever. Which I don’t really understand. She wondered when the Polish heritage run would be. I suggested Casimir Pulaski Day.

Four of us teamed up for the Team Ortho Chicago Get Lucky 7K on Saturday. It was a blustery day that would have sent Winnie the Pooh scampering for the comfort of a colossal jar of hunny in the warmth of his home or Christopher Robin’s room. Actually, “blustery” sounds fun, thanks to Pooh bear. The biting wind off Lake Michigan Saturday, combined with a ticklish mist that eventually morphed into snow flurries for a brief time, was far from fun. My kilt-covered thighs were warm enough, but my calves were quite cold. Until they just went numb.

The city was cloaked in fog that I suspect was not tramped in on little cat feet but rather poured over it from a God-sized bucket. Gusts blew the waves into little whitecaps and fluttered flags and race banners in frenetic fashion. 

OK, I’m trying too hard. It was cold and windy and wet and dreary Saturday morning. The weather conditions conspired to put a damper (sorry) on the festive nature of a big race. In fact, I wonder if it didn’t hamper attendance; there were just 1,758 finishers of the 7K race. But a fraction of the Santa Hustle horde and I believe shy of the total for the Monster Dash 5K, though I can’t find a total. The Monster Dash half marathon had more than 2,500 finishers, though, and that’s for a half marathon.

Ironic, then, that the first two songs up in the shuffle of my iPod were “Melt With You” and “Here Comes the Sun.” There was no sun and there was no melting.

The one drawback to these Chicago runs is the starting line. Cramming more than a thousand runners on a path that’s maybe 15 feet wide is ridiculous. Our group – me, Ellen, Ginger and Nicole – found ourselves at the back in the walkers’ section. No biggie, but it took a full three minutes from the starting gun for us to reach the starting line. Thankfully this race, like the others I’ve done there, was chip timed, meaning each runner is given a chip, a personal identification device, that triggers upon passing the magnetic field at the start and finish, thus providing an accurate account of the runner’s race time. You can read all about it here. It’s pretty interesting.

Anyway, after several hundred yards the pack begins to spread out. Soon everyone is finding his or her pace and motivators. I bounced from ponytail to ponytail a couple times, but honestly I think I was a little distracted today. A. It was freaking cold. And B. There was a lot of clothing along the course. When it’s so cold and you’re standing around a while before race time, you tend to overdress. As you get going, you warm up and if you get too hot, well, something’s gotta go. I’ve heard of marathon runners who will buy cheap sweatshirts, knowing they will discard them as the go.

Well, there were some nice-looking sweatshirts along the course, and a scarf and even a lovely red fleece jacket. Tempted once to stop for a shirt, I decided against it, figuring on this short, closed course it seemed quite possible that people might return to look for what they’d cast off along the way.

In the end, I was left with my awesome Get Lucky hoodie and finisher’s medal. Pretty cool swag from Team Ortho, yet again. 

Not inclined to hang out in the cold and wet, we quickly returned to the parking garage and headed for brunch and a well-deserved bloody Mary. Not sure if a bloody Mary is kosher for St. Patrick’s Day celebrating, but we did have Irish whiskey Friday night, so I think we were OK.

Today’s Stats

Temp: 34 degrees F (I suspect it was colder with the wind by Lake Michigan)

Distance 7K (4.5 miles)

Weekly total: 7.9 miles

Treasure: Get Lucky 7K hoodie and finisher’s medal; bypassed two and a half pairs of gloves, at least 8 sweatshirts/hoodies and one fleece pullover, assuming the runners who dropped them might walk the route later to retrieve their property.

Race Stats

Finishers: 1,758

Men: 465

Women: 1,293

Average Time: 49:44

My Time: 43.23

Place Overall: 527

Division (45-49): 16 of 34

Men: 217 of 463

Pace: 9:59 (mile)

Clever: LepreCAN Portable Restrooms.

iPod Playlist (Shuffle)

I Melt With You – Modern English

Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles

Clarity – John Mayer

Light Up My Room – Barenaked Ladies

83 – John Mayer

Going Over to That Side – Ryan Adams (chatter during a live show)

I Will Possess Your Heart – Death Cab for Cutie

Rio – Duran Duran

Streetcorner Symphony – Rob Thomas

Bent – Matchbox Twenty

Oooh Baby – C+C Music Factory

Wednesday’s Stats

Temp: 32 degrees F

Distance: 3.4 miles

Weekly Total: 3.4 miles

Treasure: Nada.

iPod Playlist (Shuffle)

You Run – The Call

If I Ever Get Aroundto Living – John Mayer

Find the River - REM

Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield

What You Won’t Do ForLove – Bobby Caldwell

In The River – The Call

Long Day – Matchbox Twenty

Too Late for Goodbyes – Julian Lennon

Today's Stats (Sunday, March 10)

Temp: 48 degrees F

Distance: 5 miles

Weekly Total: 13.38 miles

Treasure: Nada

iPod Playlist (Shuffle):

The Devil Went Down To Georgia – Charlie Daniels Band

Real World ’09 – Rob Thomas

The Roof Is Leaking – Phil Collins

I Want Your Sex (Parts 1&2) – George Michael

Fox On The Run - Sweet

Higher Ground – Stevie Wonder

Infatuation – Rod Stewart

Brief Intermission – James McMurtry

Let Her In – John Travolta

Tell It To My Heart – Taylor Dayne

Piano Man – Billy Joel

We Work the Black Seam - Sting

Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew

Love at Walmart

I didn’t really go looking for love at Walmart today. And it’s a good thing, ‘cause I didn’t find it. I was curious, though.

You see, the trivia tidbit on WKAY-FM this morning said more people experience “love at first sight” at Walmart than anywhere else. The basis for this astounding conclusion? A Psychology Today study that looked at Craigslist “Missed Connections” posts. Example: “If you were the hottie browsing the spandex at Walmart this morning, we need to hook up.” Or words to that effect.

According to an article at deathandtaxesmag, “After analyzing the column state by state, researchers found that in 15 states from Idaho to West Virginia to Louisiana, more people thought they saw their soulmate at Walmart than any other public place.”

Well, after hearing the radio blurb, I was curious. So I decided to have a look-see for myself. I needed a longer run anyway, and my Walmart route would allow me to kill two birds with one stone. 

When I arrived at the store I hit the men’s room to clear my sinuses; I’m sure a snot rocket in the entry would have been acceptable Walmart decorum, but I’m just not that kind of guy. I then made a circuit through the store, making sure to hit the feminine hygiene products area, housewares, women’s clothing and groceries – all the likely spots for hotties to be hanging out, bargain browsing.

Alas, I didn't see my soulmate. I did not spot any candidates for the next Playboy Women of Walmart spread. Nor did I see anyone fitting the stereotypical People of Walmart description (freakishly disgusting or otherwise simply freakish).

I’m not sure if I’ll take another scouting mission in the aisles of the store America loves to hate or if I’ll take aim at Target next time. Probably neither, but it’s a reminder to keep your eyes peeled wherever you are.   

Typical photo from People of Walmart. This one was titled "Panty Raid."

Today's Stats

Temp: 22 degrees F

Distance: 5 miles

Weekly Total: 8.38 miles

Treasure: Nothing. Wasn't looking. Focused on running these days.

iPod Playlist (Shuffle):

SadSongs (Say So Much) - Elton John
Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
The Lie - Matthew West
Major Tom (Coming Home) - Peter Schilling
Clocks - Coldplay
Crown - Collective Soul
Compliment - Collective Soul
Logical Song - Supertramp
Drink (Acoustic) - Fiction Plane
Unwell - Matchbox Twenty
From a Whisper to a Scream - Robert Palmer
Ruins of the Realm - James McMurtry
Judas - Lady Gaga
Holiday - Madonna
Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits

Back on Track

Let the training begin. That’s right, I returned to the streets today. God, did I just write that? Sounds like I’m periodically homeless or something. Well, I think you know what I mean. In case you don’t, let me explain.

I’ve been on hiatus for a week, nursing my sore left knee I must say a week of rest and nightly icing helped. Of course I was nervous about the return engagement. Would the knee be OK? Would it withstand the pounding? Or would the pain return straight off? Well, as it turned out, I felt a twinge within the first block. But it eased up as I went on and I remembered to ice it when I finished, which helped I’m sure.

I have to say, though, that I found it coincidental I should stumble upon this ad in a six-month-old Smithsonian magazine for the GetAroundKnee System – a knee replacement system “designed to replace the knee’s naturally circular motion.” Now, besides the curious coincidence of finding the strangely apropos ad as I flipped through an old magazine I’ve ignored for months, I was initially drawn to the ad because I misread the copy. The rest goes on to say, “Other knee systems follow an oval motion. Don’t just replace your knee. Replace the way your knee moves.”

At first blush I interpreted that all to mean the GetAroundKnee System did something different from your natural knee. You know, because it “replaces” your natural knee motion. As in substitutes something better than natural. So I was connecting it to my previous blog about man’s fascination with perfecting nature. But on further review, the point is that the GetAroundKnee System more accurately reproduces your natural knee motion than other knee replacement systems. Well, I get that now.

I gotta say, though, what really captured my attention with this ad was the groovy old portable stereo turntable. Pretty sure I had one similar when I was in junior high or so. I thought it was an ad for a cool, cheap retro turntable. Not that I need one, but you know. Even after I realized it was an ad for knee replacement, it took a minute to realize the image is warped to take a swipe at the oval motion of those lesser replacement knees. Guess it’s no wonder I’m not in advertising.

Today's Stats

Temp: 31 degrees F

Distance: 3.38 miles

Weekly Total: 3.38 miles

Treasure: Nothing

iPod Playlist (Part of an iTunes Genius mix based on “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks):

Downfall – Matchbox Twenty

She’s a Beauty – The Tubes

Fortress Around Your Heart - Sting

No One Is to Blame – Howard Jones

Rest Stop – Matchbox Twenty

Big Log – Robert Plant

Black and WhitePeople – Matchbox Twenty

Careless Whisper – Wham!