Lost & Found

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Lost & Found or Hide and Seek?

Ah, elusive love, where are you hiding?

My most recent Match profile photo.

All right, before you say to yourself, “just stop looking and it’ll find you,” I’ve heard that a million times (OK, only about 863,000 times – but counting) and I’ll address that in a bit.

Have I been lookin’ for love in all the wrong places? Lookin’ for love in too many faces? I’ve tried the bars, the produce aisle, church, the video store, the hospital. Maybe not literally, but I’m constantly on the lookout. My buddy Jay is frankly amazed at my “ringdar” – that hypersensitive perception trained on a woman’s left ring finger. (Just part of the screening process.)

I’m even looking when I run the streets of Galesburg. Once I saw a cute runner and I altered my route in hopes of seeing her again a block over. And when I spot a particularly attractive driver passing me by, I’ll admit to you now I’ve had on occasion this lame fantasy that she’ll be saw drawn to me that she pulls over and makes an excuse to talk.

To date that has not happened.

I've always dreamed of finding something amazing when I run. Maybe an iPod in good condition. Something so cool, people would be in awe when I tell them about it.
I've cataloged all the stuff I've picked up the past two years: wrenches, clothes, CDs, DVDs, gloves, balls, plush toys, beer. It's all fun and some of it has been useful — I wear two pairs of shorts I found and a T-shirt or two. I salvaged a mattress set in excellent condition during big-item trash week. Nobody thinks that's cool. It gives them pause: "What is wrong with this guy? That's kinda gross."
That's fine. I've enjoyed it. But you know what I'd really like to find one of these days while running? A girlfriend. And no, I’m not talking about a blow-up doll in the gutter (though that’d surely make an interesting blog). Rather, somebody to run along with me, not away from me.

Funny. I get the top message that someone made me her
"favorite" on Match. I clicked and the link took me to
my Match account where I found the truth.

Maybe I’ll meet Miss Right at a race someday. Of course that would require one of us to pluck up the courage to start a conversation. I can barely do that on Match.com – another place I’ve been looking for love. Ironically, I just canceled my Match subscription tonight, Feb. 13, the eve of Valentine’s Day. It seems pointless to shell out any more money on fruitless pursuit.

I once told a Match date I was looking for sparks. That instant connection. It's rare, even in the gushiest of romantic comedies. In real life, I've never heard of it. And the absence of that magical instant spark isn’t foreboding. It’s just my ideal dream.
I've seen the movie "Once" more than twice and I still hate the ending. It’s a non-traditional love story. I prefer movies like “Jerry Maguire” and “An Officer and a Gentleman.” Or “Definitely, Maybe.” Or “Runaway Bride,” or a hundred others. I’m a sap for a sappy rom-com. So sue me.

Facebook is full of pithy phrases and cautionary catchphrases about love and independence and being comfortable with yourself. It’s apparently some sort of weakness to need someone. First be complete in and of yourself without a mate. Fine. That’s all great. Hey, I am complete. But cannot two people still complete each other in the sense that the sum is greater than the two parts?

Anyway, maybe it’s not a matter of looking in all the wrong places. Maybe it’s just that I’ve been looking at all. Maybe those folks who tell me to stop looking and it’ll just happen are right. There are movies like that, too. So I think that’s where I am. Match works. For some. I’ve met some wonderful women there and I’ve made some good friends. But I’m tired of looking. I’m tired of trying. Trying too hard.

Take note, you won’t hear this from me often: You all are right. I try too hard. I’m done. Consider it a Valentine’s Day Resolution. Love, you’re gonna have to find me. I’m tired of hide and seek. I’m standing in the open and it’s up to you now.

I played a couple of love song mixes during today’s run because it seemed appropriate for the topic of the blog, which has been brewing for a couple of weeks. One of the songs was Bruce Springsteen’s “I’ll Work for Your Love.” I’ve felt that way. I’m an eager romantic. But I’m reminded of this exchange from “Jerry Maguire” between Jerry (Tom Cruise) and Dorothy (Renee Zellweger).

Jerry: “You know that thing you say, ‘it was nobody’s fault’? It’s one of the great lies. It’s always somebody’s fault. Somebody is always to blame. Go for it, go for it like you do a job. Work at it.”

Dorothy: “But maybe love shouldn’t be such hard work.”

I think she has a point. OK, a relationship, whether a steady date or a marriage, takes work. There’s a lot of maintenance there. Cooperation and understanding and all that. But the love part – from falling in to being in to full out love – shouldn’t be work. There should be some sense of naturalness to it. If it’s right, it should just be.

That’s what I’ve been looking for. Now I’m gonna let it look for me for a while. I’m right here in the open.

Today's Stats

Temp: 38 degrees F

Distance: 5 miles

Weekly Total: 8.38 miles

Treasure: 1 Nokia cellphone car charger; 1 dime; 1 LG flip phone (missing back and battery, I left it behind).

iPod Playlist (Love Songs from two mixes):

Love Me Do – The Beatles

That Thing You Do! – The Wonders

I’ll Work for Your Love – Bruce Springsteen

Everytime You Go Away – Paul Young

Time and Time Again – Counting Crows

I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever) – Stevie Wonder

Missing You – John Waite

Crazy for You – Madonna

Just Stay Here Tonight – Augustana

Falling In – Lifehouse

Say – John Mayer

Ships in the Night – Mat Kearney

Payphone – Maroon 5 (feat. Wiz Khalifa)

A Thousand Years – Christina Perri

Monday's Stats

Temp: 32 degrees F

Distance: 3.38 miles

Weekly Total: 3.38 miles

iPod Playlist (KGHS mix):

Roll With the Changes – REO Speedwagon

Hold On Loosely - .38 Special

In the Dark – Billy Squier

Rock You Like a Hurricane

Rock of Ages – Def Leppard

In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins

Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police

Caught Up In You - .38 Special

Friday, February 8, 2013

Finally Met My Match(box)

“I’m sorry about the attitude I need to give when I’m with you but no one else would take this shit from me.”

I think maybe this couple celebrating
their 50th anniversary recently might
still be "Overjoyed."

I find the haze of artificial smoke creating concert atmosphere in Braden Auditorium ironic considering the sign over the urinal in the first floor men’s room: “Thanks for saving our lungs,” which goes on explain that Illinois State University is a smoke-free campus.

Amanda and I find our mezzanine seats with no trouble and settle in to await the show. We’re here to see Matchbox Twenty. Opening is Phillip Phillips, a band I know only by its lone hit, “Home,” which has seen fair radio play and some television commercial exposure.

We arrived in Normal well in advance of the 7:30 p.m. start to ensure parking and a dinner stop. When we landed at Chipotle a few blocks from the Bone Student Center, I was reminded that I ate at a Chipotle with my brother and his buddies back in 2006 when we went to a Springsteen concert at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, Virginia, back in 2006. One more and I’ll have a concert tradition.

While stuck nearly in the corner of the mezzanine at Braden (Row 11, seats 22 and 23, by the left wall in Section E), we had a fairly close vantage point. Braden seats just 3,457 people; UVA’s Jones Arena seats 14,593. I relied heavily on Jumbotron-style screens at Jones and found myself watching the Boss on a huge TV more than live on stage. More irony. There are no screens in Braden; what you see is what you get.

That challenged my cheap dumbphone and Olympus digital camera, which has a rather limited optical zoom. I suffered serious envy for the smartphone-wielding fans around us, who I could see zooming in and recording amazing-looking video of my favorite songs. I tried a couple of times with my camera, but it couldn’t handle the contrast of a dark house and ultra-bright, flashing, flaring stage lighting. Guess I’ll just have to make sure I can go again sometime when I’ve caught up with the technology of the day.

Phillip Phillips

Anyway, Phillips is a great acoustic four-piece: two guitars, percussion, cello. I was blown away by their beautiful sound, even if I was unfamiliar. And Phillip’s vocals were frequently hard to understand, whether because of his style or the mix. But musically they were stunning. The cello really made the difference. Alas, the only song I recognized was their finale, “Home,” though it took a while to catch; there was a wonderful instrumental intro that lasted nearly as long as the song itself.

Funniest bit of the night came during preparation between Phillip Phillips and Matchbox Twenty. As the crew cleared equipment and set up for the headliner, out came a vacuum. I had no idea there was anything littering the floor to be sucked up. Maybe Rob Thomas or Kyle Cook is a little OCD or a real neat freak and there’s a clause in the band’s contract. I just thought it strange.

Note: Take small bills for parking – or don’t. I handed the attendant a $20 for the $6 parking fee and she asked if I had anything smaller. I could see she had a couple of fives and a couple of singles, but thought she might have a third five and could make change if I gave her a single in addition to the $20. I mentioned the dollar bill and handed it over. She asked again if I had anything else. I had one other single, but I replied no, figuring she was looking for a $5 or $10.

Exasperated, she hands back my $20 with a, “Dollar parking for you,” and waved me past. Hey, sorry. But, sweet!

Matchbox finally hit the stage about 8:40 or so and I nearly cried. I haven’t seen a lot of concerts, let alone a favorite band, and I was pretty emotional at the experience. Allow me to veer from traditional narrative here and try something different. I’ll give you the set list with some “liner notes” to fill out the story.

Parade – I was a little surprised, but not disappointed, that they started with track 1 from the new album, “North.” This is the North Tour after all.

Bent

Disease – I was pretty excited that they immediately reached back in the catalog for some older stuff.

Rob Thomas: “I wanna say thank you to Phillip Phillips for being so fuckin’ awesome.”

I’ve heard him mention his proclivity for profanity in a concert video on YouTube and I rather dig the F-bomb, so I was happy.

He went on to promise a great show, but added some self-deprecating remarks, finishing with, “We’ll be the best ‘tonight’ you could have.”

She’s So Mean

HowFar We’ve Come

3 AM

Rob Thomas: “We’re gonna take it back to 1996 for a couple more songs”

Real World

Girl Like That

If You’re Gone

Overjoyed

All Your Reasons

Rob Thomas: We’re going all the way, all the way, all the way back.”

Long Day – During a cool instrumental intermission Rob launched into the traditional band intros.

Rob Thomas: “Not to totally play favorites, but this next song is probably one of my favorites off the new album. It’s called I Will.”

Unwell

Radio – “I’m of a certain age,” Rob began, explaining the process of making a mix tape from the radio, as those of us in their late 30s and beyond will recall. As he was talking about making that tape for your first date with “Jenny,” a quick clip of “Baby Come Back” blasted over the PA. “Then you had the second side in case you might get lucky. The first side was all ‘Baby Come Back,’ the other side was all Marvin Gaye.” Gotta love it.

After a brief dalliance with Rod Stewart’s Stay With Me…

So Sad So Lonely

It was toward the end of So Sad So Lonely that Kyle wandered over to stage left and laid into a burning groove of a solo, something I’ve not seen in any of the videos I’ve watched. Rob leans down to some folks in the VIP seating (the orchestra pit) and takes someone’s phone and begins filming Kyle from all angles, including prone on the floor, looking up at his lead guitarist. Then he got in the frame, too, before finally handing the phone back. How freakin’ cool would that be!

English Town

Rob moves to the grand piano.

The Way

Pretty sure this was during Bright Lights.

Bright Lights – Again Kyle finishes with a blazing solo. He is a pretty awesome guitar player.

Sleeping at the Wheel – After those first couple songs and Overjoyed, this one, too, creates a stir of emotion in me.

Rob Thomas: “Thank you, Normal. We love you!”

And off they trot.

Of course, there is an encore. Gotta have an encore. Pity the band that doesn’t come back for an encore. They played four. Hallelujah!

Put Your Hands Up – Another from the new album. It launched with a funky electronic opening that had me guessing.

Back 2 Good during the encore.

Rob Thomas: “I grew up in the South,” he says, explaining that he listened to grizzled old guys like Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings. “And they all had songs about cheatin’ on their albums. Now, I’m not tellin’ you this because I condone it, but because… shit happens. And when it does, somebody should be there to write about it. This is my favorite of our cheatin’ songs. It’s called Back 2 Good.”

Rob: “… This is the song of our childhood. Check it out”:

The One I Love – The band played the R.E.M. classic, which I had to explain to Amanda; she'd not heard it before. Or at least didn't remember it.

Push – Rob somehow dedicated this finale from the bottom of their hearts to us. Not sure I get that. I always thought this sounded like a song of abuse or something.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

A Drop in the Bucket

“Reach down your hand in your pocket, pull out some hope for me.”

Matchbox Twenty, Feb. 6,2013, Braden Auditorium, ISU, Normal, Illinois

So, I’ve started my bucket list. I didn’t really want to. Never had the desire to make the list, you know, put it down in words. Too much pressure: Here are the things I want to do before I die. Great expectations. Unachievable (in some cases) goals. Of course, unless I’m lingering in my death bed for a while, I won’t have time to contemplate what I didn’t get done: Damn, never did have the opportunity to milk a rattlesnake!

I think it must have been talk the other day about last night’s Matchbox Twenty concert that prompted the question from a close friend. “Is that on your bucket list?” I don’t have one, I confessed, for the above-stated reasons. But we talked some more and I started listing some goals that would make my bucket list. Places to visit, skills to learn, people to meet, activities to undertake. While reluctant to commit to this sort of endeavor, here’s some of what I came up with on the spur of the moment, in no particular order.

1. See Matchbox Twenty in concert (hope that doesn’t sound like cheating, since I knew it was coming and it is crossed off the list – though I’d like to do it again, and again.)

2. See Bruce Springsteen in concert. Yeah, did that in 2006, but I think it would have been on the list had I made it before now. Hey, I’m 2-for-2!

3. Skydive. Cliché? Perhaps. My friend said that’s not on her list and It’s not really a priority on mine. It’s really more about overcoming fear. So why not.

4. Bungee Jump. See above.

5. Visit Ireland. I tell my kids I plan to retire there so they’d better have well-paying jobs to be able to come and visit me. I fancy evenings in a little country pub, swilling Guinness and listening to folk music.

6. Visit Germany. I learned a little German in high school and I love the castles and countryside I’ve seen in pictures. Really, throw in the rest of Europe and parts of Asia, too.

7. Milk a rattlesnake. This falls into the overcoming fear category. I am fascinated by snakes and scared to death of them. I find the process fascinating and think it would be cool to help (and hope I don’t get wimpy, lose my grip and get bit – though that’d be a hell of a story, too).

8. Learn to play the bodhran. My parents bought me one of these traditional Irish drums for Christmas because I grew up playing drums and I’m Irish and, well, just because they thought it’d be cool for me to learn it. I’ve heard it played and it seems complicated. Need to get to work on that.

9. Learn to play harmonica. Long story short, I’ve wanted to do this since I was kid. I finally own several harmonicas, but have yet to learn how to make music, not just noise, with them.

10. Scuba dive. Another childhood dream. Before I wanted to be a monster movie makeup artist, I wanted to be a scuba diver and study ocean life like Jacques Cousteau.

11. Run a half marathon.

That’s a start. I’ll see what else comes to mind. What about you?