We did the dash ... We did the Monster Dash!

“Lookin’ good, sweetheart.”

“Thanks.” Smile.

“Excuse me, miss.”

“Sure thing.” Smile.

“Nice dress.” Smile.

“Excuse me, can I get your picture?” “Sure.” Smile, strike a coy damsel-in-distress pose. “ A man after my own heart.” (Says the guy taking the photo.)

“That dress is so you.”

“Thanks. It’s my color.” Smile.

Guys, if you want to draw attention and get a big self-esteem boost from loads of compliments, wear a dress. Seriously.

Well, you might not want to wear it seriously. But I think it’s easy enough to pull off the look (with a smashing blonde “storybook curls” wig) if it’s October, nearing Halloween, and especially if you’re gathered with a few thousand other runners for the Chicago Monster Dash.

Hello Kitty meets Baby Bear.

I’ll forego the details about Monster Dash – you can read about it here. Obviously it is a Halloween-themed costume race (half-marathon, 10K and 5K fun run/walk). The event starts in Grant Park and circles a path that crosses Lakeshore Drive and follows the lake back past the Chicago Museum Campus to the park where it all begins. That’s the 5K anyway.

What a blast. OK, it’s a pokey throng at the start, but you eventually can find your pace and do what you want. Perhaps. My girls (the famous Buckettes trio) and I went with a group costume – Goldilocks and the Three Bears. While they’re all natural blondes, it seemed odd to pick one of them as Goldilocks and odder still to have three Goldilocks and just one Bear to chase them all. So we turned it around and I took the Goldilocks role and the Buckettes became the Three Bears. We were accompanied by my friend and running mate Ellen, a.k.a. Hello Kitty.

Molly and Melissa work on bear claws.

Costuming was a bear (pardon the pun). I spent an afternoon shopping for a dress but couldn’t find one that both looked the part and fit a man of my physique. Enter my friend Kim, shopper extraordinaire. She found the perfect dress (though the Buck girls thought surely it was strictly a costume dress, not something any self-respecting woman would ever actually wear in public, at least not since the 1970s) and the perfect hair-piece. The storybook curls were a hit all around, though Molly was disappointed that they covered the stylized eye tattoo on the back of my neck (she likes creepy things like eyes in the back of one’s head).

The bear costumes were trickier. We’d hoped to do brown bears – for that storybook look. Unfortunately, brown sweatpants and sweatshirts are none too common. We went with black. Felt provided the clever ears and claws (attached to stocking caps, a hoodie and magic gloves. A little black face paint completed the girls’ costumes, though Amanda and Molly, with their stocking caps (topped with ears) might have been mistaken for cat burglars (at least without the claws).

We arrived at Melissa’s suburban apartment Saturday evening and went about making the bear costumes after dinner. Melissa, ever the crafty one, did the lion’s share of the work, though Molly pitched in with some essential claw-cutting. Amanda and I mostly lounged on the furniture and watched TV. Satisfied that the parts were ready for morning, we hit the sack and planned for an early morning. The 5K didn’t step off until 9:40 a.m., but the costume contest judging was slated to begin at 8. We had to be there for that. Not that we expected to win (though I think we were pretty clever), but we wanted to take in the full event in all its weirdness.

It was chilly when we stepped out of the Soldier Field parking garage – at least for those of us in a summer dress. But it wasn’t terribly cold and it warmed sufficiently by race time. Only my hands were cold, even it was a bit nipply out. (Side note, guys: Chicks don’t dig hairy man-cleavage. Who’d-a-thunk?)

Who ya gonna call?

The looks and comments started right off. As I waited for the girls to use the facilities in the parking garage. As we waited by the Grant Park tunnel for Ellen. That’s where it got good. A guy in a van (park employee, perhaps) calls out, “Lookin’ good, sweetheart.” Melissa already started to say thank you for the compliment when she heard the singular “sweetheart” and realized he was joshin’ me. It never ended. I think I even traumatized some poor little boy who had never seen a man in a dress before. Lucky he didn’t see the guy and gal dressed as Hootersgirls. That dude went all out, sporting a stuffed bra, as well as the orange hot-pants.

Teamwork!

What a great place for costume ideas. We saw Oompa Loompas (a trio who even did the dance as they presented themselves for judging); a variety of superheroes, including the Avengers and the Incredibles, among others; a couple of women cleverly paired to form bikini-clad boobs (with a “Save the Ta-tas” slogan on the back of their shirts); hippies; the Jamaican bobsled team (one of the best group costumes); the Scooby-Doo gang; even a rainbow, a seven-member group in the appropriate colors – Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet – labeled and wearing clouds at their feet (an idea we had considered early on in our planning for the run).

If you’re a runner and you like Halloween, do it. Monster Dash is an awesome event. The course is pretty easy and it’s more fun than any run I’ve done. Amanda noted that it helps that there’s such nice scenery to distract you. The stretch along the lake was gorgeous: The sun was shining on the blue water and there were still loads of sailboats floating there.

I could go on and on. Do the Monster Dash. It’s fun and you get great swag: kick-ass jacket (bitchin’ hoodie for the kids – I want one!) and a stained-glass-style medal to die for. I think I might have to sign up for the Polar Dash and/or the Get Lucky run next year, both sponsored by Team Ortho. In the meantime, I’m thinking of the Dec. 1 Santa Hustle. Check it out.

Today's Stats

Temp: ? degrees F

Distance: 5K, 3.1 miles

Weekly Total: 10.45

Treasure: 1 white satin sash with pink “Princess” button; 1 black and white fleece headband (ear-warmer); 1 fun size Nestle’s Crunch bar; 6 Twizzlers singles.

Race weight: 195.8 lbs.

Time: No idea. Not chipped for the 5K and I stopped for a considerable time, waiting for Molly, who it turns out was well ahead of me. She finished first among our group. D’Oh.

iPod Playlist (On Shuffle):

No iPod today, but the Monster Dash start/finish site was broadcasting tunes like “Werewolves ofLondon,” “Monster” and “Clap for the Wolfman.”

Five-mile Smoke Break

I was about four blocks into my morning run when I saw her cross the street in front of me, maybe half a block away. Royal blue scrub pants and a white shoes cut a quick clip across Seminary Street to the smokers’ retreat under a tree opposite Cottage Hospital. The puffy brown coat had to be too warm for the mild October morning, but I suppose it was cooler when she arrived at work and she didn’t bother to check the temp before heading out for a cigarette.

This picture has nothing to do with this blog. I
simply failed to take my phone on my last run.

I didn’t get a good look at her as I passed on the hospital side of the street, but the sun lit her auburn hair from behind, creating a fiery glow around her head. I craned my neck to watch her for an extra second, then I was out of range and in danger of colliding with cars at the upcoming parking lot entrance/exit.

On my merry way I ran. The possibly pretty girl flitted in and out of mind like any other random thought that occurs while I’m running. That’s one of the great benefits of running: time to think about nothing at all, or about whatever has been distracting you at times when you need to concentrate on annoying tasks like work. Monday found me on my 5-mile Walmart route. It’s a good workout and I know the distance without having to double check it on MapMyRun, the runner’s website.

No bag in hand, I wasn’t bothering to collect cans – I haven’t for a while – and I passed up the glitter-flecked, black magic glove in the gutter, as well. Like I need any more of those. Monday was a day to just run for the sake of running. Of course, that doesn’t leave me much to blog about (that’s the theme of this thing, right?). Whatever. I’ve been avoiding the writing lately and I wasn’t really thinking about a blog. I just wanted to run. I needed to run. Winter fat already is settling in my belly.

So it was to be an uneventful out-and-back to Walmart. I try to vary the return route a little, sometimes snaking through Hawthorne Centre – the former Galesburg State Research Hospital (Galesburg Mental Health Center) – and then opting for Willard or Bateman or Seminary for the bulk of the southerly stretch; other times I’ll opt for a quick return to Seminary Street after passing Walmart, avoiding the Hawthorne Centre maze altogether.

What threw me, mentally, was the appearance of the auburn-haired smoker, still under the tree on the landscaping stone wall, thirty-five minutes later. Who takes a forty-minute smoke break? What employer allows that? Surely she hadn’t stayed the whole time, I thought, but by the same token it seemed equally unlikely she’d taken two breaks in that short time.

Being on the same side of the street this pass, I decided to go out on a limb. Just a little.

“Hey,” I said, throwing up a casual wave with my left hand.

“Hi,” she replied.

And then I was out of range again. No lingering for conversation.

Like the movie “Groundhog Day,” the scenario played out again Tuesday morning. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel. Only this time I thought I’d look ahead a little.

“See ya Wednesday,” I offered as I ran past.

“I don’t work Wednesdays,” she shouted as I puffed down the street.

Maybe I’m imagining it, but I thought I sensed a measure of disappointment in her voice. Maybe she’ll be there Wednesday, 10-ish, just to say hi. Or perhaps I’ll have to wait until Thursday. Can I run every day just to see if this mystery woman is regular with her smoke breaks?

Maybe.

The above is a work of fiction. Not a great work. Nor even a good work. Consider an exercise. My legs and lungs get their workout, my mind needs one, too. Next up: “Texting in the rain.”  

Today's Stats

Temp: 43 degrees F

Distance: 5 miles

iPod Playlist (On Shuffle):

Looking for the Next Best Thing – Warren Zevon

You’re Only Human – Billy Joel

Weather Report – Ronnie Lane

Rock and Roll Music – The Beatles

Old Brown Shoe – Gary Brooker

Until The End of The World – U2

Don’t Panic - Coldplay

Night Flight – Led Zeppelin

Yer Blues – The Beatles

Mutineer – Bob Dylan

Why Can’t This Be Love – Van Halen

Narrow Way, Pt. 1 – Pink Floyd

Kashmir – Led Zeppelin

Can’t Go Home Anymore My Love – The Factotums

Hymn 43 – Jethro Tull

Why I Run

Not today, but after a run last week.

Running is all about contradiction for me. Not that I want it to be, it just is. I run, but declare I am not a runner (sometimes I waffle on that). Running takes discipline. But like a couple of my lady friends who run, I do it to offset my lack of discipline in matters of food and drink. 

That’s not the only reason I run, though. It’s a time to think. A time not to think. Running is pain. And yet it overcomes pain, releases stress and the encumbrances of life. Today I wondered as I pounded down Broad Street why forget is the opposite of remember. If you want to not remember someone or something, shouldn’t that be dismember? Imagine it. “Forget you” becomes “dismember you.” Hmmm. Then again, forget is apt. It is returning to the point before you “got” something or someone. When I no longer want to “get you” I’ll forget you.

See, it’s thinking and it’s not thinking. Right?

Today I remembered my knee brace thingy. It’s a strap with a piece of rubber cord in the middle that goes under the patella to stabilize that ligament or whatever it is that comes off the kneecap. Hmmm. Good ol’ Google. That appears to be the ACL. Maybe I should be more careful about it then. Anyway, the support helped and my knee felt better during and after the run. Until about two minutes ago. Stretch… (Nope, not the ACL. Google Images search reveals it to be the patellar tendon.)

So there you have it. Be disciplined in one area so you can slack in another. Think but don’t overdo it. Today’s lessons to ponder.

Today's Stats

Temp: 58 degrees F

Distance: 4.5 miles

Weekly Total: 7.5 miles

Treasure: Nada.

iPod Playlist (On Shuffle):

I Don’t Wanna – The Call

Only the Good Die Young – Billy Joel

Sometimes You Can’tMake It On Your Own – U2

Downside Up (Live) – Peter Gabriel

Wait Until Tomorrow (Live) – John Mayer

Just What I Needed – The Cars

Mohammend’s Radio(Live) – Warren Zevon

Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police

More Than This – Roxy Music

A Kind of Magic – Queen

Very Special Love - Alabama

Pushing Boundaries

The alarm roared. I ignored. On snooze for two cycles before I realized what was happening. How is that? How do you hit the snooze button twice before you ever realize the alarm has sounded?

But I managed to get up at 5:20 for the weekly Fun Run at Lake Storey with the gang from Go Outside and Play Running Co. Alas, it was a dark and stormy morning. Pre-dawn dimness was enhanced by steady rain and flashes of lightning. I don’t mind a run in the rain. In fact, I miss it. I haven’t run in the rain in ages. But I wasn’t about to bike all the way to the lake, run 5 miles, then bike home. Top it off with lightning and it just struck me as a bad idea. Call me a wuss. I’ve been called worse.

Back to bed I went. The streets could wait. When I did finally rise just before 9 I decided it would be a good day to choose a different route. Treasure hunting has been poor lately and a change of scenery might help. If nothing else it would be nice to not see Walmart.

Head east, young man. Yeah, I prefer the West, but I’ve not really headed east – ever. At least not on a run. I mean, I have run that direction for a few blocks in the course of a loop, but my thoughts soon turned to running right on out of town. Crossing borders, pushing boundaries. Dare I venture into another community? East Galesburg, here I come!

Storm clouds filled the skies yet, threatening more rain sometime today. We still need it, though I’m already hearing complaints about mowing from homeowners who’ve had relief from the rigors of yard work all summer. Stormy skies are amazing. They rival a gorgeous sunset or brilliant sunrise with a unique beauty brimming with power and threat. I think, though, the overlooked beauty is the sunrise. Maybe it’s because so few of us bother to wake so early. I captured some beautiful sunrise images on a trip to Yellowstone back in 2001. The rest of my family chose to sleep in. I’ve never heard them express regret for missing that sunrise over Yellowstone Lake, but I relish the experience.

Anyway, there was no visible sunrise to revel in today, so I settled for mottled clouds and a cool morning run into new territory. Along the way I did come up with a few minor treasures. Nothing special landed in my path, but a couple cloths/towels that will wash up to become cleaning rags, a spoon that could see service (we’ll see how it cleans up) and a trucker-style ballcap – you know the kind, foam front, plastic mesh back. This one bears the Winegard logo. Google tells me Winegard manufactures satellite antennas for RVs, HDTV antennas, trucking antennas and antennas for a variety of other uses. The hat likely will end up on the freebie table in the lobby of Swing Leisure Apartments. I’ll keep watch for it on somebody’s head in the weeks to come.

Today's Stats

Temp: 66 degrees F

Distance: 4.9 miles

Treasure: 1 spoon; 1 green washcloth; 1 checked kitchen towel; 1 trucker’s ballcap (Winegard, white front, red mesh); 27 cans.  

iPod Playlist (On Shuffle):

The Red Strokes – Garth Brooks

Give Me Back My Wig (live) – Luther Allison

Over the Hills and Far Away (live) – Led Zeppelin

Broken Bed – James McMurtry

Theme from Alamo Bay – Ry Cooder

Luther Played Guitar – Stan Ridgway

Tin Man– The Avett Brothers

Like No Other Night - .38 Special

For the Love of a Princess – James Horner (“Braveheart” soundtrack)

Burning Down theHouse – Talking Heads

Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own – U2

Shine (Re-Mix) – Newsboys

Willie McBride – The Don’t Be Brothers

Dance Hall Days – Wang Chung