No Words

I like to believe I express myself pretty well with words. I am a writer. And yet, sometimes I’m left with nothing but the words of others to tell how I truly feel. It’s the whole “High Fidelity” Rob Gordon mix tape philosophy – using someone else’s poetry to express how you feel. It’s a tricky thing.

Boring stuff I found Thursday.

By the same token, I think you can find expression in almost any song, if you listen. Maybe the overarching message of the lyrics isn’t apropos. But maybe there’s a snippet of a line that says what you want. You can take that and make it your own for the moment.

With that in mind, I thought to focus on some lines from the random tunes that came up on Thursday morning’s run. Here we go…

Walk Between the Raindrops - James McMurtry

"Knowin' better never kept me out of trouble / I don't care, I'm gonna tell you anyway." — Because we often disregard warnings and throw caution to the wind. The excuse when we're caught? "It seemed like a good idea at the time." At least that’s what my friend Les Plume said after tossing a pumpkin down the stairwell of Corbin Hall at WIU.

Careless Whisper - Wham!

"To the heart and mind / ignorance is kind / there's no comfort in the truth / pain is all you'll find." – We say we want the truth, and I guess deep down we do. But truth hurts. Love hurts. Ignorance is bliss, if you can accept it and not fret and imagine.

Oye Como Va - Santana

I got nothin'. Spanish speakers, anybody care to translate for me?

It Won't Be Long - Eric Lindell

"All I can say, is I'd rather you here today / If I had it my way, you'd be here today." – Well, this is pretty obvious. When someone is absent all you want is presence.

Watchingthe Wheels - John Lennon

"People asking questions, lost in confusion / Well, I tell them there's no problem, only solutions." – We’re all hard to figure out. Sometimes nobody knows our motivations. Hell, quite often I don’t know my own motivations. Is that necessarily a problem? Not if you’re in search of solutions – and they are out there.

Lookingfor the Next Best Thing - Warren Zevon

"I appreciate the best, I'm settling for less / I'm looking for the next best thing." "All alone on the road to perfection. / At the inspection booth they tried to discourage me. / You can believe what you want, that'll never change it. / You have to come around eventually." – Not me, mister. Settling doesn’t work for me. I believe you set your sights and you strive. Because if you settle for the next best thing, ultimately you’ll never be happy; you’ll forever be wanting. Then again, in the follow-up line, you can believe what you want, whether it’s the perfection you seek in someone else or in you, reality is there to tell you the way it’s gonna be.

Likea Hurricane - Neil Young

"You are like a hurricane, there's calm in your eye. / And I'm getting blown away / somewhere safer where the feeling stays. / I want to love you but I'm getting blown away." "I am just a dreamer / But you are just a dream." – Love. What a mess. It is like a storm, a violent, unpredictable thrashing. Oh, there’s calm there, but the tumult surrounding it is dangerous.

Arizona Skies - Los Lobos

Hmmm. Instrumental. Nothing for me to quote, being unable to transcribe. Sorry, I'm no Warren Zevon.

Phoenix Song - Harry & The Potters

"It won't be over til it's over, no it's we who will decide / when to stop the fight and get on with our lives." – It’s all up to you. Do you fight for it or do you let go and move on? I typically choose to fight. For what it’s worth.

Speech: Brian Epstein - The Beatles Anthology 1

"Well the recording test came and went. The people that decide about these things at Decca said no. Well, you can imagine I was more worried about what I was going to say to the boys, having built up their hopes. ... In the morning I took a cab to the EMI office block in Manchester Square, London, to meet the man who would, in less than two years, produce 16 number one discs by my artists." – This isn’t music, but it’s what happens when you let a machine decide what you hear. It’s about music and it says the dolts at Decca missed out on The Beatles. Too bad for them.

HandleWith Care - Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

"I'm so tired of being lonely / I still have some love to give. / Won't you show me that you really care?" "Everybody's got somebody to lean on. / Put your body next to mine and dream on." – Of all the songs I heard Thursday morning, this one spoke most clearly to me. I think it’s self-explanatory.

Two of Hearts - Stacey Q

"Before I met you I was fallin' apart." — You know, it's a little like the "Jerry Maguire" line, "You complete me."

Today's Stats

Temp: 73 degrees F

Distance: 5.12 miles

Weekly Total: 8.94 miles

Treasure: 1 white wash cloth; 1 broken bicycle flasher light; 8 cans.

iPod Playlist (shuffle)

See above

Retrospective

I’ve nothing to write about from Monday’s run. I could prattle on about how important it was to get back on the street with the approach of Bix in two weeks. I could admit that I was a little concerned about the heat after my recent dehydration episode. I could confess that indeed I felt the heat a little more than I expected Monday morning, though it was only 77 degrees. But you’d expect that pap.

Wetzel Hall, 2009, seen from the northwest looking southeast. Tanner,
its twin, would be to the right of this pic, Bayliss/Henninger to the left.

 So let me share some memories that were dredged up Saturday morning when I visited Macomb and the campus of Western Illinois University to witness an “execution” as I put it in a text to a friend afterward. The condemned in this instance was not a criminal. Her only crime was dilapidation due to age and neglect. Put to death by implosion Saturday morning at (supposedly) 7 a.m. sharp was Wetzel Hall, my freshman residence hall (dormitory as they used to be called).

Dormitory is the equivalent to hospital today as an outdated word. Modern linguistics prefer a broader, more auspicious verbiage: residence hall, medical center, learning center (nee library). I love language and words, but they are so easily abused. And misused.

Anyway, I returned to the place of my formal higher education to watch my one-time home, a pivotal place in my growth as a person, as a man, as a scholar, disintegrate into dust and debris under the force of multiple explosive detonations, activated, at least ceremonially, by a student who won a texting contest.

Wetzel Hall was closed three years ago, after the 2008-09 school year I believe, under the university’s long-term plan. I was rather saddened to learn of Wetzel’s fate back then. I waited for word of when she would be destroyed. Wondered at times if I could garner some memento from her rooms. I never pursued that possibility, but vowed to witness her destruction. Call it closure.

Wetzel was my gateway to college life and the dorm/residence hall experience. The occasional annoying neighbor notwithstanding, I loved it. Cafeteria food wasn’t bad (I loved some of it and when the main entrée failed to please the palate, there was always a variety of cold cereal to fall back on). I met new people and made some life-long friends. Don’t we all?

It was in Wetzel that I had my first solo beer while studying (Busch, by the way). It was in Wetzel that I first witnessed the “walk of shame” when a girl with mussed hair and a pillow under her arm would step on the elevator on the guys’ side of the building at 8:01, just after co-ed visitation hours resumed (no opposite sex visitors allowed between 2 and 8 or something like that – which always raised a question when daylight saving time kicked in). 

My face and the rest of me was a little fatter in 2009. This is
the back side of Wetzel. The white circular appendage
was the cafeteria.

Wetzel stood in the northeast quad with its twin, Tanner, and the square twins, Bayliss and Henninger. That complex sits farthest from anything else on campus, separated by the expanse of Q lot, the immense parking lot cum winter tundra. You had to leave early to reach classes anywhere, though we quickly learned how to cut through the back streets for the southern buildings rather than taking the long way around through Q lot. That led past the Chi Omega house, which I never visited, and the Sigma Nu house, where I attended my first frat party.

My first roommate I remember only by his nickname, “Smoke.” He was a mountain of a guy but he grew homesick and left within a week. I had the luxury of a single for the rest of the month. Then Eric moved in. I wish I could recall his last name and track him down. He was classic ‘80s – mullet, makeup, guitar, leather and zippers. He dabbled in martial arts and music and was a Duran Duran fan. He also had a kick-ass stereo. We got along just fine, even when I returned from my initiation into Alpha Phi Omega at 4 a.m. to find him sharing our two beds (pulled together) with Tiffany, a cute gal with gorgeous brown hair down to her butt. I simply went to the first floor lounge and crashed until visitation hours reopened, then I moseyed over to Thompson Hall to hang with my girlfriend, Marybeth.

I have a store of memories from the first year at WIU, many of them associated with Wetzel. So it was with watery eyes that I watched her demolition Saturday morning with hundreds of others gathered in the parking lot at U.S. 67 and Western Drive. I did not cheer when others did. I cringed and choked back a few tears. I made my way around to Sherman Hall, WIU’s main administration building, As the dust cloud from the demolition slowly rolled in from the north I smelled the wood and plaster of demolition. I choked up a little while recording a five-minute video of my thoughts on the experience. It was a chilling sensation as those charges detonated in quick succession until finally the top center of the building caved and her wings folded in and down. The sound of the explosions was surreal, almost a distant echo. It haunts me now.

I know this was no 9/11. Nobody died when they brought down Wetzel Hall. But in a way, a part of me did. The memories will live on, but that landmark, the physical touchstone of my freshman year, is forever gone.

Today's Stats (July 16)

Temp: 77 degrees F

Distance: 3.82 miles

Treasure: 1 black hand towel; 13 cans.

iPod Playlist (shuffle)

Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey – The Beatles

Jack and Diane John Mellencamp

Twistin’ The Night Away – Sam Cooke

Bring it on Home – Led Zeppelin

Walk This Way – Aerosmith

Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

I Don’t Wanna – The Call

The Spirit of Radio – Rush

Let Me Know – Eric Lindell

New York, New York (Live) – Ryan Adams

Run on the Fourth of July

It's Independence Day here in America, land of the free, home of the brave. There's plenty to complain about and plenty for which to be thankful. I try to keep the complaining to a minimum, but trust me, I hear you and I know a little about what's wrong with this country. I also know a little about what's right with it.

When I headed out this morning at 6:45, before the heat hit the top of the charts, I had a route in mind that would take me to a treasure I spotted while driving with my daughter Amanda after dinner last night. The start was interrupted as I paused to pick up a city garbage can at Ferris and Seminary (by Innkeeper's Coffee) that mischief makers had toppled into the street.

This was no isolated incident, however. Across the street in front of Breslin's Floor Coverings a terra cotta planter lay on its side in the gutter, dirt spilled on the pavement. I righted it and tried to roll it up the curb to its former place of repose. Too heavy to move it uphill.

Off I went, then, to be about my business. Imagine my surprise to discover the shenanigans weren't confined to Seminary Street. Two more planters — heavy, cast iron buggers — were tipped on their sides on Main Street in front of the former Sears store. On my cool-down later I found that another was spilled in front of Galesburg Antiques Mall Co. A woman was shoveling up the dirt on the sidewalk.

Those monsters were even heavier than the terra cotta planter and I failed to pull them upright. Probably a two- or three-person task. Need to work on my upper body.

I guess hijinks is part of our freedom. Another word for it is vandalism. Maybe nothing was damaged and only a little dirt was spilled. I guess it could have been worse. Of course, I'll bet the business owners who have to right those heavy planters and clean up the dirt in this heat won't find it very funny. And it gave me pause to reflect on my own deeds.

Once in college, stinging from a love gone bad or something, I felt the need to cut loose one night and cause a little mischief of my own. Roaming the south end of the Western Illinois University campus near Corbin Hall, my abode, I thought it would be cool and mysterious to upend a couple of bike racks.

No damage was done, though I suppose my actions could have endangered others. I would have felt terrible to hear some poor schmuck was crushed by a falling bike rack (and I'd be in prison, too). And really, what's the point? Hardly a positive exercise of freedom. Not that everything we do has to be constructive.

OK, clearly I'm rambling now with less direction than most of my runs. Oh, the desired treasure that led me east on Main Street to Farnham Street was a pair of red shorts in the road. Alas, they're a child's size. They'll be washed and go on the free trade table in my apartment lobby.

Today's Stats
Temp: 75 degrees (iPod) 79 degrees (radio)
Distance: 4.0 miles
Weekly Total: 8.5 miles
Treasure: 1 pair Adidas shorts (red, child size 4); 2 white wash cloths or hand towels (left behind); 1 grungy granny bra (left behind).

iPod Playlist (Shuffle)
Toes - Zac Brown Band
Same Old Story - Garth Brooks
Fortres Around Your Heart - Sting
Brain Damage - Pink Floyd
Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner
Victim of the Game - Garth Brooks
Give Me Back My Name - Talking Heads
Stuck on You - Lionel Richie
The Lazarus Heart - Sting
Memory - The Call
Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police (Strange version)

After the Scare

I admit I was a little nervous to hit the streets again this morning for the first time since my dehydration debacle. A couple people told me afterward that once you've had an extreme episode like the one I experienced your body is more susceptible to it. I'm not sure I believe that because it just doesn't make sense to me. 

Somebody ran right out of his shoe!

Even so, I'm feeling a little light-headed as I write this, two hours after my run. But perhaps it's from lack of sleep; though I routinely get by on five or six hours. I did eat after the run — cottage cheese with peaches and a glass of orange juice — and I've been drinking water. And I felt great during the run. I mean really felt great. I missed running; wanted to run Saturday but never got around to it. So maybe it is just fatigue from a restless night and a 4.5-mile run.

I realized today that I've become rather selective in what I'll pick up while running. I saw three shoes and a glove today and picked up none of them. For one thing, the glove, a basic cotton work glove, appeared to have a hole in it. Besides, I don't need another glove. And what's the point of pickup up a random child's shoe or flip-flop or a size 9 New Balance running shoe that has no mate in sight?

Now, on the one hand I could just start picking up that trash for the purpose of cleaning up our streets. Sometimes I do that, but I'm not sure I want to do it every time I go out. I do pick up cans pretty much every time, though last week's dehydration day was a treasure-free experience by choice. Sometimes I just need to run. Well, it's good to vary the routine, eh?

Today's Stats
Temp: 71 degrees
Distance: 4.5 miles
Treasure: 13 cans, 3 shoes, 1 glove

iPod Playlist (shuffle)
Searching for a Heart - Don Henley (cover)
The Night is Still Young - Billy Joel
Best is Yet To Come - USAF Band of Mid-America
Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes
Rest Stop - Matchbox 20
For a Dancer (live) - Jackson Browne
One Lonely Night - REO Speedwagon
Somebody's Baby - Jackson Browne
You're Only Human - Billy Joel
Jack and Diane - John Mellencamp
Just Like a Pill - Pink

Go, baby, go!

Sometimes you get the motivation you need when you need it. Sometimes it’s right in front of you, sometimes it comes in via text. Words of encouragement are great motivation. They came when I needed them this morning.

Frankly, I was feeling a little down and I headed out on an intentionally long run in hopes of getting good and run-high to counter that. Of course I didn’t want it to go haywire, so I balanced it out with my Matchbox Sads playlist (a collection of typically melancholy Matchbox Twenty songs). I knew I needed the run, though, and that’s what’s important. I headed north. Within a block I was determined to head to the lake again, only this time I would follow the trail out and back, which would give me close to 13 miles. I believe it came to 12.5.

So the encouragement arrived about 4.5 miles in, at my first water break. That’s right, first water break. I did stop for a drink a second time. You’ll understand the significance in a bit. Juiced now, I kept right on going. Crossing the earthen dam at the west end of the lake I was passed by my high school driver’s ed instructor Gary Wagher on a bicycle. Caught up with him at the end of the trail and turned right around to head home. No rest. It was my desire to complete the run without any bouts of walking.

Stopped at the water fountain again and even snapped a pic for proof of my hydration efforts. Good boy!

The temperature was rising and I was feeling it. When I finally hit Broad Street it became a struggle. But I was determined not to walk. If I started I might not get back to running. And in a lazy way, I just didn’t want to walk the rest of the way home. Ironic, I know.

I zig-zagged a bit through neighborhoods where I figured to find more shade from trees close to the street. Still, I was losing steam. Approaching the final mile, I slowed to a walk for the length of one house. A block later I was walking again. Then running after a block. Then I was walking again. That’s OK. I needed the break so I accepted it. I was beat. So when I hit First Presbyterian Church, my church, I ducked inside for a drink and a little cooling – even though my apartment was just a block and a half away.

That’s when it hit me: dehydration. I got a swig from the fountain and lay down on the mat just inside the door. Shubie and Lynne came to check on me. I asked for more water – a tumbler full. Shubie went for it. Lynne brought me cool, wet paper towels for my head. Still I was feeling extremely fatigued. Then it got worse. My arms were tingling, and my tongue. I felt light-headed and a little nauseous.

“Do you want to go to the ER?” Shubie asked.

“No.” It’ll pass, I thought.

But it wasn’t passing.

“I’m taking you to the ER,” Shubie declared.

“OK.” The fight had left me.

That was at 10:27 a.m.

Shubie has fun with the dry-erase board.

Two liters of sodium chloride solution and six hours later and I was good as new. Shubie, great pal that he is, stayed with me the whole time. Even brought me potato chips, cookies and a Sprite for some real rejuvenation. We had a lot of laughs, too. The best was when my nurse, Chris Sweborg, told us some of the funny incidents he’s seen in the ER. Consider the woman who arrived in a panic over her son’s strangely discolored skin. Chris wasn’t on the case, but he was there. Another nurse examined the poor boy and asked the mother, “Has your son been eating Cheetos?” Yes, he had. Oh my! Is there a connection? “Ma’am, your son has a case of Cheeto hands.”

My problem was a little more legit. Dr. Gucci’s diagnosis: “Heat exhaustion and extreme dehydration.”  

Today's Stats

Temp: 75-88 degrees F

Distance: 12.5 miles

Weekly Total: 18.5 miles

Treasure: None.

iPod Playlist (shuffle)

If You’re Gone

Hand Me Down

Bright Lights

Rest Stop

Unwell

Bent

Long Day

The Burn

Girl Like That

Back 2 Good

Kody

You Won’t Be Mine

A Successful First

So, I ran my first 10K race today. And, like my first 5K I even placed! Unlike my first 5K there were others in my age division – men’s 40-49. The 5K age divisions are in five-year increments, which I think is better odds. I will say I think the older age divisions are as competitive or more competitive than the younger groups. More of those middle-age folks have been running for a long time than are newbies like me. Or so I like to think.

Some ponytail inspiration.

I’ve been training for this race, building up my mileage on everyday runs (twice or thrice weekly). But I made the poor decision to go out last night and do a little drinking and dancing. The upside of that is that I found a cute little plush puppy in a parking lot. You can read all about the race experience in The Register-Mail this Sunday and at Galesburg.com.

The exciting part of the day, besides placing third in my first-ever 10K race, was that I was joined by my lovely daughter Amanda. She texted this morning at 6, about the time my alarm was going off, and asked about the race starting point and time. I thought she’d decided to come cheer me on. Ha, what an ego. She’d decided to run her first 5K. Spur-of-the-moment decision brought on by lack of sleep and boredom. What’s with college kids today? Well, she could have done far worse things.

I was happy to have her join me and my running partner for the race. We had a good time together before and after. Once the starting gun sounded I was off and in my own little world. I picked a ponytail – a trio actually – once I’d found my pace and I just kept running. The motivation was enough to keep me going without a walk lapse and I finished in 56:14, good enough for third place. Color me a happy runner. I mean, a happy guy who runs.

Finished 28th overall in the 10K -
middle of the pack.

Today's Stats

Temp: 73 degrees F

Distance: 6.2 miles

Weekly Total: 17.4 miles

Treasure: Intestinal fortitude.

iPod Playlist (Running playlist, plus two)

Broken – Lifehouse

Catch My Disease – Ben Lee

Distance – Ryan McCullough

Heartbreak Warfare – John Mayer

I Will Follow You Into the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie

I Will Possess Your Heart – Death Cab for Cutie

Just Like a Pill – Pink

Smooth – Santana (Feat. Rob Thomas)

Time and Time Again – Counting Crows

We Will Not Be Lovers – The Waterboys

Sink or Float – Aberdeen

Shoot to Thrill – AC/DC (Great song to finish strong)

A little Change Up last night at the RR Days
Prairie Players Beer Garden.

Uphill Both Ways

Today was training day. I joined my running friend Carmen for the Summer Virtual Run sponsored by Toni and her Running, Loving, Living blog. I didn’t grasp the concept when I agreed to do the virtual run, but it’s pretty simple. You sign up to run a 5K or 10K, and in essence compete against others who run and submit their entries. The competition as I understand it isn’t a matter of time vs. time, but you rack multiple entries, or chances, for prizes that will be given away in a random drawing of entrants.

Chasing shadows...

So, anyhoo… Carmen and I agreed it would be fun to bike out to her country running spot northeast of town. I see from her blog that she went farther than I did, but she’s a tougher, more experienced runner than I am, so she gets no sympathy from me on this one. I must admit, though, I expected a route closer to town. Even so, it was a beautiful ride out country roads among the cornfields and pastures of Knox County. I realize I should venture forth more often, just to take in the countryside.

The ride out and back totaled about 12 miles (trusting Carmen’s calculations of 6.3 miles out and 5.85 miles back, along a slightly different route). Add 6.2 miles of running the rolling hills of Knox County farmland and that was a pretty grueling workout for a guy like me. I continue to claim I am not a runner. Call it a defense mechanism: should I actually identify as a runner, somebody might expect more of me.

I called this training day because, while I’ve run this distance before – and longer just last week – I wanted to do a solid 10K checkup run before this weekend’s DickBlick Art Materials Railroad Days Run. I’ve done the 5K the past two years. I’ve done a few other 5K races and ran the Bix 7 last summer, so I know I can do the distance. Still, I’ve not done a 10K race. As I’ve said before, I’m not in it to win it. I run with the sole goal of finishing alive. I always strive to achieve my best time (which I did at my last 5K), but otherwise I set no goals. But, would it be exciting to place in my age division? Hells yeah! I placed first in my division in my first ever 5K two years ago. Granted I was the only one in my division, but still. I thought it was respectable.

So, too, was today’s 10K time, I thought. Carmen said she clocked herself at 58:24 and guessed that I arrived 10 seconds later. Now, understand, I slowed her down. She doubled back a couple of times when I slowed to a walk and urged me to get back to running pace. I walked on four occasions, I think. All after cresting a hill. How is it the hills were always going up, never down? OK, there were downhill jaunts now and again, but they always seemed less than the corresponding uphills. I don’t get that. I thought that was strictly a humorous ploy of our grandparents to make us feel inadequate and whiny. 

Carmen in the distance. We paced closely
most of the time, but I lagged at times.

Well, whiny fit me today. I was exhausted by those hills. But the warmth of the sun, the smell of the corn and the barking of farm dogs was great. I finished at a run and managed to bike back into town. My time, just a little behind Carmen’s, was within my pace expectations, so I was not displeased. And as Carmen pointed out, the hills are different from the flats in town. The race Saturday should be better.

Today's Stats

Temp: 80 degrees F

Distance: 6.2 miles

Treasure: Nothing, I was totally focused on running today.

iPod Playlist (shuffle)

One Lonely Night – REO Speedwagon

Distance – Ryan McCullough

Two of a Kind, Workin’ on a Full House – Garth Brooks

Don’t Panic – Coldplay

Everything is Comin’ Down – Bo Ramsey

Arizona Skies – Los Lobos

(There’ll Be) Peace in the Valley – Johnny Cash

Hymn 43 – Jethro Tull

The Night is Still Young – Billy Joel

Careless Whisper – Wham!

Tell Me What You See – The Beatles

I’ve Had Enough – Lyle Lovett

Virgin State of Mind – K’s Choice

Over the Hills andFar Away – Led Zeppelin

Levelland – James McMurtry

Baby Come on Home – Led Zeppelin

Alright Guy – Todd Snider